We, as a society, need to talk a lot more about variants on sexuality and relationship styles. For a long time I have maintained that the oppressive modeling of the heteronormative monogamous marriage as the ultimate goal for adult relationships is harmful. Now that I am out an open as a kinky person, I am realizing how much damage this image causes people. In the last three months I have had almost a dozen conversations with people who have said, “Wow! I did not know this ex

The more I talk to people about the kink and BDSM world, the more I realize how many people do not see this world the way I do. For some reason I was never cursed with feeling shame nor did I ever find my desires abnormal. I guess my parents didn’t do enough to make me feel bad about my body while I was growing up. The desire to be tied up, liking certain types of pain, engaging in conscious power structures in relationships, being pansexual, always just felt natural to me. I