Hypnokink- Fun or F*cked Up?

Rebecca Blanton
3 days ago
6 min read

What if I told you a simple technique most people can master in a few hours could vastly improve your sex life? That is the clickbait tied to way too many hypno-kink classes. This sex trend is starting to appear online, in popular magazines, and in kink education classes. The instructors and “experts” promise better sex, the ability to help you or your partners orgasm, and an ability to overcome prior trauma with just an hour or two of instruction.

It sounds great! And yes, hypnokink can be fun. However, in the past two months I have had multiple people come to me asking how to “deprogram” themselves after unscrupulous partners planted suggestions during hypnokink sessions which are not ruining their sex lives.

So, what is hypnokink? Can it be practiced safely and ethically? What are the potential dangers you should be aware of?

What is Hypnokink

Hypnokink is any kinky play which involves hypnosis as part of it. This can be erotic hypnosis, hypnosex, or sissy hypno. Each of these activities begin with one partner hypnotizing another person. The couple then engages in various forms of sex or kink play.

Hypnosis involves helping someone relax deeply and enter an altered state where inhibitions are lowered. Various forms involve breathing deeply, body relaxation and connection techniques, and focusing on the voice of the hypnotizer. About 20 percent of the population can be easily hypnotized and another 50 percent are very open to hypnotizing. The ability to be hypnotized is not a sign of mental weakness. Rather, it is tied to your ability to relax and let go of control.

Hypnosis is not the parlor tricks you see at a magic show in Vegas. Rather, the deep state of relaxation allows you to be less inhibited. You will not engage in behaviors you have a moral objection too in your daily life. For people who struggle with desires (e.g., sissification) hypnosis allows the person to drop some of the mental barriers to engaging in a kink they desire. Hypnosis also allows the person being hypnotized to detach from their immediate surroundings and focus on images and ideas. Many people find the sensation freeing.

Hypnokink and sissy hypno involve introducing kinks during hypnosis. This can be adding suggestions like, “Every time I say, “Good Boy” you will have the urge to kiss my feet.” Once the person emerges from the hypnosis session, the suggestion can be activated by the prompt “Good boy.” Cool, right? Please continue reading to the risks section!

Hypnosex can involve engaging in sexual activity while a person is under hypnosis. The deeper relaxed state where someone is disconnected from their immediate surroundings may be helpful to people who have part traumas or quickly become overwhelmed during sexual activity. However, it also raises a lot of questions about consent.

Is Hypnokink Dangerous?

Yes. Too many articles and educators out there downplay the short and long-term risks of adding hypnosis to your sex life. While having your inhibitions lowered without chemicals, being able to be more connected and experience sex you want is great, there are some real risks to engaging in hypnosis and kink.

Think of an ex. Any ex will work. Do you want that person living in your head? Do you want them in your current sex life? My guess is the answer is no!

Do you want your ex living in your head? Do you want them in your current sex life?

Hypnosis allows the person doing the hypnotizing to plant suggestions into your subconscious. You may desire these suggestions when you are with them. You may really enjoy hypnokink with a partner. Statistically, that relationship is not going to last a lifetime. When deciding to engage in hypnokink, make plans for post-relationship sex.

Some readers may be thinking, “But I am with someone who is really ethical and very trained in this technique. I’m safe.” If recent revelations in the kink community are any indication, even the most respected writers and educators can be deeply problematic (Dr. Richard Sprott, I’m looking at you). Every horror story of hypnokink shared with me started with the person believing their partner was ethical and safe.

While hypnosis isn’t going to make you do anything you have strong objections too, it can alter your sex life for a long time. Take for example the suggestion of the prompt “Good Boy” making someone want to kiss their partner’s feet. All fun and dandy if the partner then only uses the prompt when appropriate. However, what happens if the person has a bit of a cruel streak and starts using it at family or work gatherings? Do you want to have to fight that urge in front of Grandma at her 80^th birthday party? What happens if you break up and then date someone who continually praises their dog with “Good Boy?” Think about long term implications prior to any experimentation with hypnosis.

Consent and Hypnosex

Consent gets dicey when it comes to hypnosex. You can agree to be hypnotized. You can agree to what acts are acceptable while you are hypnotized. However, you are in an altered state of consciousness when you are engaging in hypnosex. This has implications for ongoing consent.

As with any altered state of consciousness, boundaries, limits, and activities should never be changed when a partner is in an altered state! Just like being drunk or high, being under hypnosis changes what you will agree too. Therefore, the non-altered partner is responsible for maintaining previously agreed upon boundaries. You should be able to trust this person enough to know that they are going to abide by the limits agreed to prior to beginning hypnosex.

If you are the person conducting hypnosis, there are also dangers for you. The hypnotized partner may not be able to fully recall what happens while they are in an altered state. There is a chance that post-session, their memory is fuzzy and they may believe you have harmed them. They may have desires which they were not aware of prior to the session and accuse you of implanting these suggested desires. Finally, hypnosis can cause drowsiness, headaches, nausea and other physical symptoms for which you may be blamed.

Introducing Guardrails for Hypnokink

Some folks are still going to try a form of hypnokink. So how do you diminish the potential negative effects?

First, everyone involved should be aware of short and long-term issues associated with hypnosis. This includes familiarizing yourself with the physical and emotional effects of undergoing hypnosis. Do not rely on the person who is doing the hypnosis to fully educate you! Actually do the work and educate yourself (resources at the bottom of the post).

Secondly, negotiate which suggestions will be introduced and what the “options” are. Rather than suggesting, “Every time I say “My little cum slut,” you will fall to my knees and give me a blow job,” introduce an option to not follow the prompt. “When I say, “My little cum slut” if the location and time allows, you will fall to your knees and ask to give me a blow job.”

Video recording is your friend. For the safety of all involved, record the hypnosis session. That way, when all parties are in a non-altered state, there is a way to see what happened. Worried it will end up on the interwebs as blackmail? You can still get old-fashioned video cameras with physical tapes or memory cards where the recording can be controlled by one party or destroyed after a given time.

Not a fan of video? Consider bringing in a third party to watch the first few sessions. This may be at a local play space, a trusted partner, or a member of your polycule.

Go slow. Like any kink, time and practice will reveal how much you can trust a person. Begin with just trying hypnosis with no suggestions or sex. The next time, add a small suggestion. This allows people to build their practice and trust with partners.

Vet your partners. I am now seeing dominants and hypnokinksters offer “sessions” for people at conferences or in private. This is a great option if you want to try something. I have worked with other kinksters to try new stuff at events. However, before engaging with a person, vet them. Ask around to see what others say about them. We get a reputation in this community. It’s for everyone’s safety you talk to a few folks before playing with a new person.