Updated: Sep 11
This post has been sponsored by LoveHoney.
Curious about anal sex? Not a fan of anal sex but want to try other butt stuff? Your Auntie has your covered!
Anal sex, pegging, and butt play has become increasingly popular in the past decade. More than 50 percent of adults report that they have tried anal play of some kink. Nearly 35 percent of people report having anal sex, a quarter of adults have tried pegging, and over 55 have used a butt toy. That is a lot of booty-centric pleasure!
Preparation and Safety Tips
With a few precautions, anal play is safe and enjoyable for most people. The anus is not a hole to just plunge into and go for it! It is not self-lubrication, it requires time for expansion, and you will want to prep to ensure a higher level of cleanliness.
The number one, most important thing with anal sex is to communicate! The receptive partner needs to be able to control the pacing and duration of anal play. Make sure to communicate about comfort, pain, levels of lube, speed of penetration, and other sensations. The penetrating partner needs to listen to and follow the directions or requests of the bottom. That said, over time (especially with a regular partner) anal sex can become easier and more enjoyable requiring less patience on the penetrating partner's side.
Lube is necessary. Please, for the love of all things good, use lubricant designed for sex and not whatever you find in the fridge. I know there is a lot of erotic writing and porn videos using spit or something from the kitchen to lube up an anus. DON"T do this. These things are not designed to lubricate an anas. Use of kitchen supplies and spit can significantly increase the chance of injury.
Go slow. There are two sphincters (muscle rings) inside the anus which need to dilate in order to allow penetration. If you are new to anal play (or it has been a while) it can take these muscles longer to relax and open. If you are inserting something into your bum and it hurts, pull back a bit. Gently pulsing a toy against these sphincters can help the body relax and allow for more penetration.
For the most enjoyable experience for all parties involved in anal play, the receiving person needs to prep the area. This is true for anal sex, pegging, use of anal toys, and exterior stimulation (like rimming).
Anal douching helps clear out any fecal material prior to play. You only need to clean out the first 6-8 inches of the rectum. You do not need to use an enema for safe anal play. While Fleet enemas and other over-the-counter versions are readily available, there is no need to add the medication in these items to your prep.
Instead, pick up an anal douche. These are generally composed of a bulb you can feel with warm (not hot!) water and insert into your bum. I am personally a fan of the LoveHoney Deluxe Anal Douche Kit.. Fill the bulb with warm water. Gently insert the thin end into your rectum. Applying a bit of lubricant will ease the insertion. Hold the water in your bum for a minute (if possible) and then void in your toilet. Repeat this process until the expelled water runs clear.
Once finished douching, clean the area with warm body soap and water. You are now ready for fun!
Grab Some Lube!
Using lubricant will make anal play more pleasurable for everyone involved. Depending on what type of play you want to engage in, the lube you choose will change.
If the penetrating partner has a penis, you will want a lube designed for anal sex. Silicone lubes are the slickest and tend to last longer with this type of anal play. For those wishing to avoid silicone, using a hybrid-style lubricant. I gravitate to the Sliquid hybrid lube for anal sex. This lube feels great, stays slick, and doesn't irritate my highly sensitive skin.
If I am using an anal toy that is going to say in one place (e.g., a butt plug) I choose the LoveHoney lube for anal play. If you choose to rim (lick and kiss someone's anus) consider picking up a flavored lubricant. While I am cool with eating someone's well-prepped booty, other folks are uncomfortable and want to add some flavor. Check out the line available at LoveHoney.
You may also want to consider grabbing a lube applicator. These nifty devices make getting the lube in all the right nooks and crannies easy!
Choosing the Right Toys
Whether you are an old butt play pro or a newbie, adding butt toys to your play is a great idea! The butt is full of nerve endings for people of every gender. Stimulating them can increase desire, orgasm intensity, and provide fun for anyone.
If you are interested in pegging or anal sex with a penis, the receiver is going to want to train their bum. By increasing the size of an item which can comfortably penetrate your bum and how long you can be penetrated will increase your pleasure during anal play. Consider picking up an anal training kit. These kits contain anal douches and toys of varying sizes to practice being stimulated. Some kits include vibrating toys which other just include butt plugs of varying sizes to slowly increase your tolerance for anal penetration.
Begin with the small anal toy and wear it for five minutes. Work up to 20 minutes of penetration prior to increasing the size of the plug you are using. You can use it while watching television, doing the dishes, or masturbating! Make sure to use lubricant when inserting your training plug.
Once you start to enjoy anal play, consider getting a bigger or longer-wearing plug. The top two considerations when choosing a butt plug is: the base needs to be significantly larger than the widest insertable point, and it needs to be made of body-safe materials. The rectum has skin which absorbs a lot of things put in it. You want to make sure your toy is made of body-safe silicone, ABS plastic, metal, or other non-porous materials which won't leach toxic chemicals into your bum.
Next, when choosing a butt plug, consider the size. Do you want one to wear for a long time (the smaller the easier this will be), one to challenge what you can take anally (the bigger or longer, the more you will be happy with your choice); or one which will help you dilate for anal sex (medium sized and comfort).
Does it need to vibrate? The short answer is No. However, some people enjoy a lot more anal stimulation than others. If you enjoy butt play, adding a vibrating toy can increase your pleasure. Additionally, newer toys allow for app control. These toys will allow a partner on your app, regardless of physical location, to control your toy. If you are in a long-distance relationship or enjoy public play, app-controlled butt plugs can be a great choice.
Bottom Line (pun intended)
Show your booty some love! The nerve endings there provide a lot of stimulation and potential pleasure. All genders can happily engage in safe, hygienic butt stuff and improve their sex lives.