People who practice ethical non-monogamy talk a lot about what it means to be ethical in a non-monogamous relationship. But what about people who are monogamous? Most folks I know assume monogamy is the baseline for a relationship and that it means the same thing to everyone. People in monogamous relationships often feel no need to discuss what they expect from monogamy and what that means to them. And this is a problem. Monogamy is the only “acceptable” relationship style mo

Immediacy is valued by many. We want what we want and we want it now! The whole concept of delayed gratification has become nearly non-existent for many of us. We post to social media and then check our sites incessantly to see who has liked, re-posted, and replied to our comment or photo. We have problems with diets where you only lose a pound or two a week because seeing progress is too slow. We want to buy online and have it delivered the same day because we can’t wait for

Let’s talk STIs. Sexually Transmitted Infections. I know, totally not sexy. I get it. You only want certain types of dripping going on down there. But… we need to talk. The middle class may be on life support, civility may be a relic of the past, the gender binary is fading out of existence, but the one thing thriving in the US is STIs. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are at epidemic proportions. Herpes and HPV are so common there are entire dating cites dedicated to people with thes

There are subtle and not so subtle signs a relationship won’t work out. The primary one I have learned to look for over the years is narcissism. Anyone who is very self-focused and believes their needs are more important than other people will doom a relationship. This is, of course, not the DSM-V definition of narcissism, but the over-elevation of one’s self and unwillingness to take the needs of others into consideration is a huge roadblock for relationships. All successful

Guys, some of us girls have found out your secrets. We know that there are a lot of you who use online dating sites to find Ms. Right Now with little intention of finding Ms. Right. We know you will indicate you want a relationship, you will say lovely things until you get us into bed, then most likely, you will not text again. Here are a couple of girl secrets. A lot of girls also want Mr. Right Now and really do not want you to text two days after the first (and only) hook-