The more I read about nonbinary folks and the more I see cis folks try and talk about nonbinary folks, the more I understand that this is just a giant ball of confusion for many people. As someone who has understood gender isn’t binary and has been living as a nonbinary person for way longer than it has been in the mass media, it always surprises me how much so many folks struggle with the concept. So dear reader, here are a few things I think might help clear up some issues.

News headlines are floating around about 20 percent of Millennials identifying as “non-binary.” This is based on a new study by GLAAD working with Harris Poll which looks at acceptance of sexual and gender identities. The initial headlines caught my attention because most news outlets framed this as “20 percent of Millennials identify as non-binary.” This is actually a huge number when you start to think about it. Even lumping together the different non-binary identities (e.g

Hello Readers! Sorry I have been away for so long. I had a severe infection and no help from doctors. But, despite the deplorable state of American “health care” I’m back! In the last two months since I have been away, I have been thinking a lot about gender. I had the great opportunity to chair a panel about trans women and privilege at CatalystCon in Los Angeles this year. My three panelists and I talked about gender and culture and it gave me a lot to think about. Gender i

I pass as a heterosexual cis-female and I hate that. I have always passed (well, more or less) regardless of what I wear, my hair, binders, softees, make-up on and off… I pass. Sure, there have been periods of time when I have worked really hard to not pass and yes, I get mistaken for a man a lot. But by and large people see me and think I’m just another heterosexual cis-female. The older I get, the more I pass. I put on weight in my 30s and strapping down DDs is a lot tricki

The presence of non-binary gendered folks is becoming more known. Some groups in the kink and queer worlds are starting to recognize that we are more than male and female. I have even been to a few conferences where they have your preferred pronoun listed on your name badge so people can use your preference without having to ask. I have noticed over the past year, there is increasing pressure to adopt “They” as an acceptable pronoun for the singular. The American Dialect Soci