It’s great that vanilla America is finally discovering the idea of consent. Not our judges or politicians apparently, but a large number of non-kinkly folks are starting to think about sex and consent in a way they never have. Articles in widely read papers about the idea of consent and things like Tea and Consent going viral actually speaks volumes about the cultural shifting that is taking place. Less than two years ago I was submitting articles about consent to publication

The worst part of the aftermath of being raped was being told over and over again that I must report the rape. Every health professional saw told me how important it was that I report the incident to the police. When I would tell them I had decided not too, every single one of the people who were supposed to be there as my doctor launched into trying to guilt me into doing something I didn’t want to do. “If you don’t report, other women will be raped.” “You have to report or

By now, you have probably seen images from BDSM/kink movies or pornography. You may have tied up a date or given someone a spanking. It’s definitely fun and always feels a bit naughty. As a submissive myself, I love kink and BDSM. But beyond sexy times, BDSM offers something that the entire country could benefit from: a safe word. If you are unfamiliar with the idea of a safe word, it is pretty simple. A safe word is any word people agree on has the power to stop sexual play.

Vice.com just put out an article about people seeking to qualify polyamory as a sexual orientation. It’s not, but don’t stop reading. Polyamorous folks seeking to qualify polyamory as a sexual orientation are largely doing so because they want political protections. I get that. I have fought most of my life to get protections for groups from bigots. Polyamorous folks need protection, but they are not a sexual orientation. What’s the Difference? Sexual orientation is defined b

I was working on my next blog post about measures around sex and research findings and planned on posting it today, then the American legal system went and lost its goddamned mind – again. Last week in Oklahoma, a judge made a decision that, “Forcible sodomy cannot occur where a victim is so intoxicated as to be completely unconscious at the time of the sexual act of oral copulation.” Ummmm…. bullshit. He based his reasoning on the the argument that the 17 year old boy who fo

California has enacted SB695, a law which will now required high schools in California to teach students about the concept of “affirmative consent.” According to the law, affirmative consent is defined as “as affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity.” This bill was created and passed as an attempt to address the rape epidemic on college campuses. The Bureau of Justice Statistics has reported that 20 percent of college-age women enrolled in