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One Question Every Submissive Needs to Answer
When I am on my knees, looking up at my Dom, waiting on his command, I am in complete bliss. There is something wonderful and liberating...
Rebecca Blanton
Feb 21, 20222 min read
39 views
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How Do You Create an Aftercare Plan?
Aftercare is a frequently mentioned idea in kink/BDSM classes and touted as “important” for safe, sane, and consensual play. Most of the...
Rebecca Blanton
Jul 16, 20217 min read
20 views
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Pain and Presence
There are different theories on how people “should” deal with pain. Some folks argue for being present with the pain. Some argue for...
Rebecca Blanton
Oct 5, 20195 min read
5 views
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Sexual Healing (part 2)
When I was in one of my basic psychology courses in undergrad, the professor described sublimation with the following example. Say you...
Rebecca Blanton
Jul 12, 20185 min read
6 views
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Sexual Healing (part 1)
The theme of healing through kink has come up repeatedly in both my reading and real life a lot lately. For me, this is a touchy subject....
Rebecca Blanton
Jun 27, 20185 min read
3 views
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Want to Feel More Beautiful? Try This!
Most of us, whatever our gender, whatever our sexual orientation, do not love our bodies. Or, we do not love our bodies most of the time....
Rebecca Blanton
Jun 6, 20183 min read
12 views
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Agender – What does that mean?
I find being agender weird. Most days, really about 98 percent of the time, I could care less about my gender. I am a feminist for...
Rebecca Blanton
May 8, 20173 min read
4 views
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In Praise of “Just a Phase”
We are living in an age where certainty is demanded. Any time someone changes their mind or expresses any level of uncertainty, people...
Rebecca Blanton
Mar 8, 20173 min read
6 views
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What 2016 Can Teach You About Relationships
By most accounts, unless you are a rape-y cheeto with narcissistic personality disorder, this was a shit year. People are hoping 2017...
Rebecca Blanton
Dec 29, 20165 min read
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On Certainty
At some point in the last decade culture in the United States started demanding that people be certain about everything. We collectively...
Rebecca Blanton
Sep 12, 20164 min read
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Do It For the Children! Media Representation
What is portrayed in the popular media makes a big difference. Not a profound statement, but most people- even those who agree- often...
Rebecca Blanton
Aug 17, 20165 min read
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D-types and Mental Illness
After teaching my class “Power Exchange and Mental Illness” several times and corresponding with folks online who have read my writing...
Rebecca Blanton
Aug 2, 20165 min read
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Am I Doing this Right????
Its the most common question I see of new kinksters, “Am I doing this right?” It comes in several versions, “I think I am a Domme, but I...
Rebecca Blanton
Apr 25, 20163 min read
3 views
0 comments


On Virtue and Vice
8? 25? 105? 300? 1,023? Is there such a thing as having too many sexual partners? Are you a sex addict? Is sex your vice? Is sex a...
Rebecca Blanton
Apr 3, 20165 min read
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In Sickness and In Health…
I have been away from this blog for a couple of weeks due to illness. For two and a half years I have been trying to get some chronic...
Rebecca Blanton
Feb 18, 20166 min read
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Is Sex Always Part of BDSM?
I have had a bunch of conversations lately about incorporating sex into BDSM play. Some people have to have both in a session, others do...
Rebecca Blanton
Dec 10, 20155 min read
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The ‘Woo’ of Kink
My last post about sub space got a flood of responses. Most of the 3,000+ people who replied here and on Fetlife were very complimentary....
Rebecca Blanton
Oct 29, 20157 min read
21 views
0 comments


Born This Way?
There is a local comedian in Sacramento who does a great joke. She starts with the premise that her parents used to spank her. Now, she...
Rebecca Blanton
Oct 22, 20156 min read
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0 comments


To Be “Real”
You Got To Be Real – Cheryl Lynn (1978) There are few things in English I hate more than the insistence of modifying a social construct...
Rebecca Blanton
Sep 8, 20156 min read
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