When I am on my knees, looking up at my Dom, waiting on his command, I am in complete bliss. There is something wonderful and liberating...

Aftercare is a frequently mentioned idea in kink/BDSM classes and touted as “important” for safe, sane, and consensual play. Most of the...

There are different theories on how people “should” deal with pain. Some folks argue for being present with the pain. Some argue for...

When I was in one of my basic psychology courses in undergrad, the professor described sublimation with the following example. Say you...

The theme of healing through kink has come up repeatedly in both my reading and real life a lot lately. For me, this is a touchy subject....

Most of us, whatever our gender, whatever our sexual orientation, do not love our bodies. Or, we do not love our bodies most of the time....

I find being agender weird. Most days, really about 98 percent of the time, I could care less about my gender. I am a feminist for...

We are living in an age where certainty is demanded. Any time someone changes their mind or expresses any level of uncertainty, people...

By most accounts, unless you are a rape-y cheeto with narcissistic personality disorder, this was a shit year. People are hoping 2017...

At some point in the last decade culture in the United States started demanding that people be certain about everything. We collectively...

What is portrayed in the popular media makes a big difference. Not a profound statement,  but most people- even those who agree- often...

After teaching my class “Power Exchange and Mental Illness” several times and corresponding with folks online who have read my writing...

Its the most common question I see of new kinksters, “Am I doing this right?” It comes in several versions, “I think I am a Domme, but I...

8?  25?  105?   300? 1,023? Is there such a thing as having too many sexual partners? Are you a sex addict? Is sex your vice? Is sex a...

I have been away from this blog for a couple of weeks due to illness. For two and a half years I have been trying to get some chronic...

I have had a bunch of conversations lately about incorporating sex into BDSM play. Some people have to have both in a session, others do...

My last post about sub space got a flood of responses. Most of the 3,000+ people who replied here and on Fetlife were very complimentary....

There is a local comedian in Sacramento who does a great joke. She starts with the premise that her parents used to spank her. Now, she...

You Got To Be Real – Cheryl Lynn (1978) There are few things in English I hate more than the insistence of modifying a social construct...