Submissives are some of the most seductive people in the world. Regardless of what we look like, if we are introverts or extroverts, or our skills in the bedroom, we are sexy. What makes us sexy? What makes us seductive? Its our attentiveness. Submissives often embrace service as part and parcel to who they are. We may not identify as a service sub, but even brats, littles, and ponies serve their D-types. Our service extends well beyond the bedroom and dungeon. It is this ser

Immediacy is valued by many. We want what we want and we want it now! The whole concept of delayed gratification has become nearly non-existent for many of us. We post to social media and then check our sites incessantly to see who has liked, re-posted, and replied to our comment or photo. We have problems with diets where you only lose a pound or two a week because seeing progress is too slow. We want to buy online and have it delivered the same day because we can’t wait for

If I am really honest about some kink behavior, it looks like abuse out of context. I have seen more than one play scene where the bottom was clearly in distress and the top did not stop (no safe word was used, but the distress was real). I have watched people who carry out punishments in protocols that outside of a kink arena could not be distinguished from abuse. However, in the context of a consensual D/s or BDSM relationship however, much of this behavior has a very diffe

8?  25?  105?   300? 1,023? Is there such a thing as having too many sexual partners? Are you a sex addict? Is sex your vice? Is sex a hindrance to a loving relationship? Is it a good thing to be very sexually experienced? I have the pleasure of talking to a lot of people about their sex lives. Questions about how many partners is too many and is there an issue if you have only had a few partners are regular topics of conversation. People worry about how much sex they are hav

Dear Doms and Dommes: Thank you. Thank you for enjoying your role on the left of the slash. Without you, my life would not be nearly as fun and joyful as it is now. A good D-type can be transformative for a submissive. A good D-type helps ground me, can help me motivate to be better in many aspects of my life, and can bring me great joy. But, to be honest, I know way to many people who identify with the left of the slash that do no fall into the “good” D-type. I know as a sub

Want to have amazing sex, and I mean mind-blowingly good sex? Want your partners to think you are the best they have ever had? Want to walk away from any sexual encounter feeling better than you did before you had it? Want to make everyone you sleep with feel special and important? Want to be deeply satisfied? Then I have a sex tip for you. I actually learned the secret to consistently amazing sex not, surprisingly, through reading about sex or relationships. I learned it in