ADHD, Autism, and Sensory Issues in Kink
- Rebecca Blanton
- 9 hours ago
- 3 min read
Have you or a partner ever been playing and one of you becomes completely overwhelmed by light touching? How about hearing music piped into the hotel a convention is at and become so overwhelmed you need to leave the space? Do tags in clothing get on your last living nerve? This post is for you!
Intimate connection relies in sensations. This may be external stimulation (touch, taste, sounds, etc.) or internal (gustatory, proprioception, etc.). Most kink education assumes neurotypical processing of sensations when they teach how to evoke sensations for play. For people living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or ADHD, there is a high probability they do not process sensations the same way a neurotypical person does. In fact, ASD folks have an 80-90 percent chance they process sensations differently and 60 percent of ADHD folks process sensations differently than neuro-typical folks. If you or a partner is “neuro-spicy,” understanding how these differences show up and what it means for play is critical to understanding how to create great kink scenes.
What is Sensory Processing?
Our bodies continually provide us information about ourselves and the world through sensations. This includes “The Big 5”: smell, taste, touch, sound. This also includes proprioception (knowing where our bodies are in relation to things around us), pressure in/on body parts, gustatory (hunger, fullness), blood pressure and blood oxygen changes, and more. The world is designed for people who are neurotypical and we prioritize how able-bodied people process information about the world (e.g., most signage is not in braille).
Our senses are stimulated, for example a bell rings, and we hear it and associate a feeling or meaning too it. Hearing the bell signaling the end of class when you were in high school as a good example. This bell is designed to be a volume and pitch that is comfortable for most neurotypical and able-bodied students. A neurotypical student hears it, grabs their books, and goes to the next activity. A neuroatypical
Sensory Processing Disorders
When someone has a sensory processing disorder (associated with ADHD, ASD, or not) they process these sensations differently than “normal.” There are several forms of sensory processing issues.
Depending on the type of processing disorder, it will change the way you or a partner processes kink play an intimacy. To simplified table with various manifestations of SPD and how they relate to kink is below.
Condition | Explanation | Kink Issue | Solution(s) |
Sensory Over-responsiveness | Having the same sensation for too long or too intense will cause discomfort or distress. | Kink play with repetitive or extended sensations may cause discomfort or distress (e.g., flogging the same body part repeatedly). | Change the type of sensation or the body part stimulated frequently. |
Sensory Under-responsiveness | Unaware of a sense or delayed response to sensation. | Delayed reactions to sensations or lack of awareness of sensations applied. | Increase communication about what sensations are being applied and allow time for processing. For example, “I will be using the ping pong paddle on your cute tushy now.” |
Sensory Craving | Seek out or crave stimulation. When stimulated, the brain becomes disorganized and there is a lack of satisfaction. | Seeking out intense types of play, cathartic forms of play repeatedly. | Communicating about your needs and desires and that this may result in you still not feeling satisfied afterward. |
Sensory Discrimination Disorder | Hard to distinguish various sensations. For example, if two objects are placed in your hands while your eyes are closed, you can’t tell a difference in them. | Someone can’t tell the difference between intense and light caning. | Make the top aware of the issue to allow them to more closely monitor physical reactions to implements. |
Postural Disorder | Hard to tell where your body is in space. Can result in disorientation or clumsiness. | Clumsiness during a scene, hard time with things like throwing a whip. | Find ways to stabilize player. For bottoms, use of spanking benches, securing someone to a cross, etc. |
Dyspraxia | Problems with gross or fine motor control and movement. | Difficulty with using various implements. | Experiment with finding toys which are easier for the partner to use. |
How Do I Know if I (or a partner) have a Sensory Issue?
To get treatment and access to medical resources, you will need a formal diagnosis. However, there are assessment tools used to alert people to possible issues. I am attaching a link to an adult inventory for various sensory processing issues. This is not meant to be diagnostic. However, identifying and understanding how these issues show up for you (or a partner) provides great information for negotiating and planning kink scenes.
Want more information?
I am teaching a class on “Neurodivergence and Kink” through Stockroom University on August 22 online. Can’t attend live? The class will be recorded and available to ticket holders afterward.
Get tickets here! Just $20, including fees.