BDSM Resources (updated 01.09.22)

Updated: Aug 22

I’ve been asked by several folx to provide a set of good readings on D/s dynamics. While this is far from a complete list, here is a good place to start. I will continue to update over time.

LAST UPDATED 07/2022

Kink Education and Organization Sites

  1. www.BSDM.org

  2. BDSM Education Center www.BDSMEducCenter.com (broken link fixed 1/20/2020)

  3. Black Rose www.BR.org

  4. Center for Sex Positive Culture www.thecspc.org

  5. Community Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualitites www.carasresearch.org

  6. Black Thorn Black-Thorn.org

  7. Fetish.com has a list of BDSM groups across the US

  8. Folsom Street Events www.folsomstreetevents.org

  9. International Mr. Leather www.imrl.com

  10. International Ms. Leather and Boot Black www.imslbb.org

  11. Kink Academy www.KinkAcademy.com

  12. Kinkly Kinkly.com

  13. Kinsey Institute www.kinseyinstitute.org

  14. Leather and LGBTQ Cultural District, SF https://sfleatherdistrict.org/

  15. Leather Archives and Museum www.leatherarchives.org

  16. Lesbian Herstory Archives www.lesbianherstoryarchives.org

  17. Lesbian Sex Mafia www.lesbainsexmafia.org

  18. Museum of Sex www.museumofsex.com

  19. National Coalition for Sexual Freedom www.NCSFreedom.org

  20. National Leather Association International www.NLA-international.com

  21. Lavender Library and Cultural Exchange www.llace.org

  22. The Pleasure Coach http://www.thepleasurecoach.org/

  23. Sexual Alpha SexualAlpha.com

  24. Society of Janus www.soj.org

  25. The Exiles (lesbain org) www.theexiles.org

  26. Wicked Grounds www.WickedGrounds.com

  27. Woodhull Freedom Foundation www.woodhullfoundation.org

Books

Consent

  1. SSC v. Rack https://epochryphal.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/rack-vs-ssc-kink-consent-ableism-agency/

  2. Negotiating a BDSM Scene https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-jenn/negotiating-a-bdsm-scene/

  3. DevianceAndDesire 1 page negotiation form https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2016/04/tonight-i-want-negotiation-sheet/

  4. Kink Weekly Negotiation Checklist https://www.kinkweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/BDSM-negotiation-checklist.pdf

  5. Jay Wiseman Negotiation Long Form https://www.evilmonk.org/a/wiseman10.cfm

  6. Kink Closet Beginners BDSM Contracts https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/bdsm-contract

  7. Midori Negotiating Consent Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9s0VVjIi38

  8. American Sex Podcast with Guest Midori “Hotter Negotiation” http://sunnymegatron.com/hotter-negotiation-midori-podcast/

  9. Kink Academy Podcast with Selena Minx “Negotiation is Hard!” https://erotication.libsyn.com/negotiation-is-hard-selina-minx-makes-it-easy

General Information

  1. “The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide” by Couple’s Candy

  2. Blanton, Rebecca. Love Letters to a Unicorn: A book about kink, BDSM, and non-monogamy.(2nd edition)

  3. Blanton, Rebecca. The Big Workbook for Submissives.

  4. Brame, William, Gloria Brame, and John Williams. (2011). Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Random House: New York.

  5. Califia, Pat and Robin Davies. (2012). Public Sex.

  6. Cruz, Ariane. The Color of Kink.

  7. Easson, Dossie. The Topping Book

  8. Easson, Dossie and Janet Hardy. The Ethical Slut

  9. Easson, Dossie and Janet Hardy. The Bottoming Book

  10. Gray, Luna. A Kinky Girl’s Guide to Dating.

  11. Harrington, Lee. Playing Well with Others.

  12. Kali, Princess. 365 Days of Kink.

  13. Midori. Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink

  14. Notte, JoEllen. (2020). The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression and the Conversations We are Not Having

  15. Perel, Esther. (2009). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence.

  16. Stryker, Kitty. (2020). Ask: Building a Culture of Consent.

  17. Tizano, Shay. (2021). Creating Captivating Classes.

  18. Thompson, Mark, Dorothy Allison, Guy Baldwin, etc. (2013). Leatherfolk: Radical sex, people, politics, and practice. Deadalus Press: New York.

  19. van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score.

  20. Wiseman, Jay. SM 101

Impact Play

“Impact Play Safe Zones”

Pet Play

“A Glimpse Into the World of Puppy Play”

Rope

  1. Harrington, Lee and Rigger Jay. More Shibari You Can Use.

  2. Midori and Craig Morey. The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage.

  3. Tizano, Shay. Tying and Flying.

  4. Two Knotty Boys and Larry Utley. Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes.

  5. Vane, Evie. Better Bondage for Every Body.

HEALTH, AGING, and DISABILITY

  1. Aida Manduley Disability Justice

  2. Ante Up Disability Courses

  3. ChronicSex.org

  4. Disability After Dark

  5. Hedonish

  6. JP Consulting

  7. LA Spoonie Collective

  8. Notte, JoEllen. The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We are Not Having.

  9. Robin Wilson Beaty

RELATIONSHIP ORIENTATIONS (nonmonogamy, polyamory, mixed styles)

Books

  1. Fern, Jessica. Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy.

  2. Hardy, Janet and Dossie Easson. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Nonmonogamy, and other Freedoms in Sex and Love

  3. Patterson, Kevin and Ruby Bouie Johnson. Love Is Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamory and Other Alternative Communities.

  4. Taormino, Tristan. Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

  5. Veaux, Franklin. More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Polyamory

Podcasts

  1. Poly Weekly

  2. I Am Poly (So Can You)

  3. Poly Role Models

BLOGS

  1. Chronic Sex

  2. Dr. Liz Powell

  3. Dungeons & Diagnosis

  4. Kink Positive

  5. Erotic Awakening

  6. Kink Academy: Blog posts, video instruction and more from top kink educators!

  7. Kink Doctor

  8. Hey Epiphora

  9. Kink Positive

  10. RedheadBedhead

  11. Spices of Lust

  12. Submissive Feminist: Personal blog

  13. Submissive Guide All things submissive. Well informed and sourced.

  14. Sugarbutch D/s, queer, gender nonconforming

  15. The Body is Not An Apology

  16. Wicked Grounds Blogs, classes and more!

  17. A Kinky Autistic

  18. Afrosexology

  19. Love Letters to a Unicorn

  20. Rain DeGrey

  21. Submissive Feminist

  22. Sunny Megatron

  23. Trauma Queen

  24. Wellcelium

PODCASTS

  1. American Sex Podcast

  2. Bawdy Storytelling

  3. The Dildorks

  4. Disability After Dark

  5. I Am Poly (So Can You!)

  6. Kink Academy Podcast

  7. Kink and Coffee

  8. Kink Craft

  9. Kinky Queer Revolution

  10. Loving BDSM

  11. Masocast

  12. Off the Cuffs

  13. People of Kink

  14. Poly Role Models

  15. Poly Weekly

  16. Practically Kinky

  17. Sluts and Scholars

Reputable Vendors

  1. Betty’s Toy Box

  2. Beyond Piercing

  3. Chainmail by Chelle

  4. Cheapestees.com (tshirts and merch producers with extended sizes)

  5. CityChicOnline – great lingerie and playwear for extended sizes. Bras as large as 50G

  6. Dark Garden (corsets)

  7. Details Toys

  8. Enby

  9. Foxy Feisty Redhead

  10. Fun Factory

  11. FunkitToys

  12. Geeky and Kinky (apparel and accessories)

  13. Glass Fish

  14. Good Vibes

  15. Holo Leather

  16. Lelo toys

  17. LoveHoney

  18. Marv’s Knotty Wood

  19. Morado Leather Designs

  20. Naughty Betty’s

  21. NJoy toys

  22. Mr. S Leather

  23. Orchard Corsets

  24. SheVibe

  25. St. John’s Dye Works

  26. Toys in Babeland

  27. Tracy’s Dog

  28. Twisted Monk (rope)

  29. SINagauge on Etsy

  30. Smitten Kitten

  31. Stockroom

  32. Sugar the Shop (Baltimore, MD)

  33. Tantus Toys

  34. Uberlube

  35. Wicked Grounds (San Francisco, CA)

  36. 611 Clothing

People I Follow On Twitter





@Hedonis@Bondageland@Master_Venture@Imani_Barbarin@MinkoffPeter@Redheadbedhead@BDSMOxy@OnQueerStreet@KinkifyMe@SacLLACE@WickedGrounds@CoffeeandKink@IndigoIsAnAdult@BadQueersPodcast@PupAmp@DirtyLola@Smutlancer@BestBondage@tantus@KittenBohem@Epiphora@DrLizPowell@MySexToyFinger@Bawdy@KinkyAutistic@hlpleasurecoach@cmclymer@amandadeibert@boringnerdykate@BreeNewsome@Kinkly@SexHealthInfo@LoveSohimi@RISKshow@sfSubmission@SunnyMegatron@ChronicSexChat@MBolt2014@TheSTIProject@HeatherMSW@SubFeminist@SpicesofLust@yrfatfriend@TheLadyMiyabi@STDCheck@TheWenchWorks@MrSexsmith@IMsLBB2019@FOMNZ@DCBiDoc@BannonRace@AutoStraddle@FistingFans@InvisDisComedy@CLFEvent @SunnyMegatron@Ignixia@SexAbled@KelliDunham@DASANetwork

Therapists, Sex Coaches and More!

Vetted Trans-affirming Therapist in Sacramento, Yolo, Placer, and Nevada Counties in CA

Trans Affirming Therapists Sac AreaDownload


#bdsm #reading #dominance #blogs #submission #books #resources #kink

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