I’ve been asked by several folx to provide a set of good readings on D/s dynamics. While this is far from a complete list, here is a good place to start. I will continue to update over time.
LAST UPDATED 07/2022
Kink Education and Organization Sites
BDSM Education Center www.BDSMEducCenter.com (broken link fixed 1/20/2020)
Black Rose www.BR.org
Center for Sex Positive Culture www.thecspc.org
Community Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualitites www.carasresearch.org
Black Thorn Black-Thorn.org
Fetish.com has a list of BDSM groups across the US
Folsom Street Events www.folsomstreetevents.org
International Mr. Leather www.imrl.com
International Ms. Leather and Boot Black www.imslbb.org
Kink Academy www.KinkAcademy.com
Kinkly Kinkly.com
Kinsey Institute www.kinseyinstitute.org
Leather and LGBTQ Cultural District, SF https://sfleatherdistrict.org/
Leather Archives and Museum www.leatherarchives.org
Lesbian Herstory Archives www.lesbianherstoryarchives.org
Lesbian Sex Mafia www.lesbainsexmafia.org
Museum of Sex www.museumofsex.com
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom www.NCSFreedom.org
National Leather Association International www.NLA-international.com
Lavender Library and Cultural Exchange www.llace.org
The Pleasure Coach http://www.thepleasurecoach.org/
Sexual Alpha SexualAlpha.com
Society of Janus www.soj.org
The Exiles (lesbain org) www.theexiles.org
Wicked Grounds www.WickedGrounds.com
Woodhull Freedom Foundation www.woodhullfoundation.org
Books
Consent
Negotiating a BDSM Scene https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-jenn/negotiating-a-bdsm-scene/
DevianceAndDesire 1 page negotiation form https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2016/04/tonight-i-want-negotiation-sheet/
Kink Weekly Negotiation Checklist https://www.kinkweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/BDSM-negotiation-checklist.pdf
Jay Wiseman Negotiation Long Form https://www.evilmonk.org/a/wiseman10.cfm
Kink Closet Beginners BDSM Contracts https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/bdsm-contract
Midori Negotiating Consent Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9s0VVjIi38
American Sex Podcast with Guest Midori “Hotter Negotiation” http://sunnymegatron.com/hotter-negotiation-midori-podcast/
Kink Academy Podcast with Selena Minx “Negotiation is Hard!” https://erotication.libsyn.com/negotiation-is-hard-selina-minx-makes-it-easy
General Information
Blanton, Rebecca. Love Letters to a Unicorn: A book about kink, BDSM, and non-monogamy.(2nd edition)
Blanton, Rebecca. The Big Workbook for Submissives.
Brame, William, Gloria Brame, and John Williams. (2011). Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Random House: New York.
Califia, Pat and Robin Davies. (2012). Public Sex.
Cruz, Ariane. The Color of Kink.
Easson, Dossie. The Topping Book
Easson, Dossie and Janet Hardy. The Ethical Slut
Easson, Dossie and Janet Hardy. The Bottoming Book
Gray, Luna. A Kinky Girl’s Guide to Dating.
Harrington, Lee. Playing Well with Others.
Kali, Princess. 365 Days of Kink.
Midori. Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink
Notte, JoEllen. (2020). The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression and the Conversations We are Not Having
Perel, Esther. (2009). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence.
Stryker, Kitty. (2020). Ask: Building a Culture of Consent.
Tizano, Shay. (2021). Creating Captivating Classes.
Thompson, Mark, Dorothy Allison, Guy Baldwin, etc. (2013). Leatherfolk: Radical sex, people, politics, and practice. Deadalus Press: New York.
van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score.
Wiseman, Jay. SM 101
Impact Play
Pet Play
Rope
Harrington, Lee and Rigger Jay. More Shibari You Can Use.
Midori and Craig Morey. The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage.
Tizano, Shay. Tying and Flying.
Two Knotty Boys and Larry Utley. Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes.
Vane, Evie. Better Bondage for Every Body.
HEALTH, AGING, and DISABILITY
RELATIONSHIP ORIENTATIONS (nonmonogamy, polyamory, mixed styles)
Books
Fern, Jessica. Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy.
Hardy, Janet and Dossie Easson. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Nonmonogamy, and other Freedoms in Sex and Love
Patterson, Kevin and Ruby Bouie Johnson. Love Is Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamory and Other Alternative Communities.
Taormino, Tristan. Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
Veaux, Franklin. More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Polyamory
Podcasts
BLOGS
Erotic Awakening
Kink Academy: Blog posts, video instruction and more from top kink educators!
Submissive Feminist: Personal blog
Submissive Guide All things submissive. Well informed and sourced.
Sugarbutch D/s, queer, gender nonconforming
PODCASTS
Reputable Vendors
Cheapestees.com (tshirts and merch producers with extended sizes)
CityChicOnline – great lingerie and playwear for extended sizes. Bras as large as 50G
Dark Garden (corsets)
Geeky and Kinky (apparel and accessories)
Twisted Monk (rope)
Sugar the Shop (Baltimore, MD)
Wicked Grounds (San Francisco, CA)
People I Follow On Twitter
Therapists, Sex Coaches and More!
Vetted Trans-affirming Therapist in Sacramento, Yolo, Placer, and Nevada Counties in CA