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Love letters to a unicorn is a blog covering kink, power exchange, and sex from the perspective of a submissive or bottom. It provides sex toy reviews and a vetted list of resources as well.

Is Your Kink Practice Missing Something Critical?

Rebecca Blanton

Aug 19, 2022
5 min

Is Your Kink Practice Missing Something Critical?

If you have been listening to Fat Chicks on Top, you know I’ve been talking to a variety of kinky folks who entered the scene over 20 years ago. With each generation, including the one I came into in the early 1990s, practice of kink changes a bit. As each new generation emerges, the older folks (often referred to as ‘Old Guard’) bitch about some of the changes. This is a story as long as the community has existed. While everyone has a bit of a different take on “The New Gene

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Rebecca Blanton

Jul 26, 2022
6 min

This Could Save Your Life!

Kink play can be intense! That is part of the fun of it. We play physically and psychologically hard. Weather you are into impact play, senasation play, pegging, or anything else, there is basic healthcare/first aid you should know to keep your play safer. This stuff will also help folks who enjoy vanilla sex as well. Sex and kink can evoke a number of extreme reactions which might mimic a health emergency. Things like crying, heavy breathing, wheezing, and red skin might be

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Rebecca Blanton

Jul 24, 2022
2 min

Sexual Fantasy Research

Sponsored Post We don’t tend to talk about sexual fantasies with many people. Too many of us carry shame around the things we know turn us on. This means many of us don’t look for ways to express our desires in a healthy way. For many kinky folks, turing to BDSM is a great way to begin to explore these previously private fantasies. In the past two decades, there has been an increasing amount of academic inquiry to the way we develop fantasies, how they shape our sex lives, an

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A Sexy Bucket List: How many have you done?

Rebecca Blanton

May 25, 2022
2 min

A Sexy Bucket List: How many have you done?

I am a fan of sexual and intimacy goal setting. It is a way to prioritize your pleasure and not let it languish as life happens. It also provides inspiration when things feel a bit redundant or boring. However, so many sexual bucket lists take two approaches I am not a fan of. The first lists types or people to have sex with. These lists fetishize race, size, fame and are gross in my opinion. The other approach is to list a long set of activities with little context. These ca

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Rebecca Blanton

May 16, 2022
1 min

Rae Luna: I Know I’m Hot

Rae Luna https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-8aszk-1229636 Guest: Rae Luna, burlesque and go-go dancer This week we continue with Erotic Performer Month. Rae Luna is a nonbinary burleque and go-go dancer based in San Francisco, CA. They talk about embracing thier body, how to seduce yourself, being Brown and how that influences their performances and so much more! Rae has performed at Twisted Windows, an even created and hosted by previous Fat Chicks guest Shay Tizano, at

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Rebecca Blanton

May 8, 2022
1 min

Shay Tizano: Bound Up in Joy

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-amw4e-121fc8c Guest: Shay Tizano, Rope expert, Erotic Performer Author of Tying and Flying and Creating Captivating Classes Shay joins Fat Chicks on Top to discuss finding rope, exploring self-suspension and the erotic arts. Creator of Twisted Windows, a kink erotic show in San Francisco, CA, Shay seeks to explore and expand how people experience erotic performances and rope. Social Media: SelfSuspend.com Bondagesafety.com TwistedWindows

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Kink-Life Balance: Is 24/7 Really for You?

Rebecca Blanton

May 3, 2022
4 min

Kink-Life Balance: Is 24/7 Really for You?

In the world of BDMS, power exchange, and kinky shenanigans, people who identify as having a 24/7 dynamic are often seen as the “ideal” kinkster. We privilege folks who claim to have their kink dynamic running all the time, rain or shine, work or play. Firstly, I think this type of privileging of 24/7 is silly. To be in a permanent dynamic all the time means: 1) you must be coupled, 2) you life a life where work, family, and other stuff doesn’t interfere with your dynamic, an

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Rebecca Blanton

Apr 22, 2022
4 min

7 Ways to Expand Your Dynamic

BDSM and power exchange is often portrayed as something which exists as something in the bedroom. Yes, a large part of people’s dynamics and play can revolve around sexuality and kink play. However, taking your dynamic and play outside of the bedroom can increase your intimacy and connection with a partner. When expanding your dynamic outside of private quarters, make sure you discuss boundaries and limits. Depending on your job, your family, and your social life, how much co

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Rebecca Blanton

Mar 28, 2022
4 min

The #1 Thing Dom(me)s Hate!

I work with a lot of kinky folks of all identities and levels of experience. When I talk to folks from the left side of the slash, they all say one thing. “I am not a mind reader.” It doesn’t matter if we are talking about how to make scenes hotter, how to improve D/s dynamics, or what frustrates them most with the submissives they encounter, every dominant hates the assumption that they can read your mind. I am not a mind reader. Every Dominant, ever. It is easy to understan

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Rebecca Blanton

Mar 15, 2022
3 min

Should Submissives Express THEIR Needs?

When you are submissive or enjoy being submissive with a partner, navigating your own desires can be tricky. As submissives, we sometime engage in denying our own desires as part of kink play (e.g., orgasm control or denial). Additionally, we prioritize serving the needs of a dominant. However, the reasons people seek out submissive relationships where their desires are low priority or denied are not uniform. Understanding why you are attracted to these types of relationships

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One Question Every Submissive Needs to Answer

Rebecca Blanton

Feb 21, 2022
2 min

One Question Every Submissive Needs to Answer

When I am on my knees, looking up at my Dom, waiting on his command, I am in complete bliss. There is something wonderful and liberating about sexual submission. The freedom, the deep trust, the connection I feel in this moment is unparalleled. I know I am not alone in this. I have one question for every person exploring submission I talk to about their practice: Why? Why do you submit? Yes, it can be thrilling and freeing. It can meet your needs to let go of responsibility.

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Rebecca Blanton

Feb 5, 2022
6 min

Head Space 101

If you have spent any time on kink blogs, podcasts, or in a class, you have heard people mention “head space.” Head space refers to the emotional and cognitive space people want to be in when engaging in kink. It is basically shutting down your squirrel brain (the part that is always making to-do lists, worrying, etc.) and becoming present with the moment AND embodying you role in kink. This little term does a lot of heavy lifting! This post breaks down the different aspects

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How To Communicate When You Hate Long Talks

Rebecca Blanton

Jan 24, 2022
4 min

How To Communicate When You Hate Long Talks

Communication is key. You have heard it hundreds, if not thousands of time when it comes to creating successful relationships and successful kink scene, “Communicate.” Great! But, what happppens if you are not a big talker? Or if you are shy? Or if you simply hate having long, deep discussions about feelings and needs? Communication for folks who don’t like long talks may seem difficult at first glance. However, there are lots of different forms of communication. See if any o

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 17, 2022
1 min

Fetlife How-To’s

Thought about joining Fetlife.com but have some concerns? Worried that your employer or ex-spouse will find your account and out you? Tried it and feel overwhelmed? Here is a guided tour of Fetlife. Learn how to set different privacy options, block unwanted dick pics, find groups around your interests, and much more! #bdsm #websites #culture #privacy #Fetlife #guidedtour #kink

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 12, 2022
4 min

Dating in an On-going Pandemic

Being single, or at least being in a position to date, during the pandemic is challenging. We all crave human touch and interaction. We also all have a level of risk we are personally comfortable with. With the numbers of COVID infections skyrocketing to distrubing levels, what can you do to date, stay safe(r), and still get some basic needs met? Take All Reasonable Precautions There are basic and reasonable precautions to take during this pandemic. For almost all adults, get

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Rebecca Blanton

Dec 26, 2021
2 min

Getting What You Want in 2022: Step 1

It is almost the end of 2021. I know mine has been exhausting. While the career aspect is going strong and health is slowly improving, other areas have been trying… to put it gently. Its the time of year we sit and reflect on what has happened, what we wanted to happen, and the gap between. It is also a time we start to think about how we want to approach the new year. While I have never been a big New Year’s resolution fan, preferring to set and change goals throughout the y

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Rebecca Blanton

Nov 29, 2021
3 min

Which Nipple Clips are Right for You?

There are many styles of nipple clips out there? How do you find the one’s which are right for you? Nipples are erogenous zones for all genders. While most cis-women have had their’s played with and know what works and does not work for them, in terms of stimulation, fewer cis-men and trans folks have had their nipples played with as a key aspect of sex. Nipple play often enhances arousal. In fact, some people can reach climax through nipple stimulation alone! Adding nipple c

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Home For the Holidays? Ways to stay kinky while visiting relatives

Rebecca Blanton

Nov 1, 2021
3 min

Home For the Holidays? Ways to stay kinky while visiting relatives

Nothing puts a damper of getting down and dirty as visiting the parents for the holidays! With mom, dad, the kids, grandparents, or other relatives in the house it can be hard to express your kink with a partner as you would if you were alone or with other kinky folks. So, what is a wild and kinky guy to do? Here are ways to practice your kink and power exchange without alerting others! Use “Sir” or “Madam/Miss” Honorifics If your power exchange relationship involves using ho

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Rebecca Blanton

Oct 23, 2021
5 min

BDSM Tips for Beginners

Sponsored Post from HotCherry.com Of all sex practices, BDSM might just be the most misunderstood. Many people associate it with extremes, believe it inflicts emotional or physical harm, or see it as something that’s abnormally perverse, beyond kinky. However, beginners need to understand that all of these views are exaggerated. BDSM incorporates the categories of dominance/submission, bondage/discipline, and sadism/masochism. As long as you’re able to discuss boundaries with

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Rebecca Blanton

Oct 22, 2021
1 min

2021 Holiday Gift Guide

It’s that time of year again! Time to spend days online and in stores looking for great gifts for family, friends, and co-workers forcing you into a white elephant gift exchange. It is also This is also an incredibly important period for small kink vendors. These folks put love and thought into creating great clothing and toys celebrating our lives and kinks. Buying products from these folks keeps money in our community. Please consider shopping these retailers and avoiding t

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