Updated: Aug 23
It’s Pride month again. This is the second year pride comes when I have a male partner and we are exclusive. This makes pride events strained, at best, for me.
Biphobia still permeates the queer community. I am treated like an interloper by queer folks who don’t know me. They assume I am some cis- hetero- interloper coming to watch “their” event.
Part of the problem is gay spaces have been invaded by hetero- folks. Few gay clubs have not been taken over by a drunk bachelorettes going out to a gay club because they “feel safe” with gay guys and “just want to dance.” I hate these groups but will defer to RuPaul’s elegant response to hetero invasions.
Part of the issue still lies with bigotry in the queer community. Bisexuality still has the stigma of being “undecided” or unwilling to fully embrace your gay. We are cast a folks with commitment problems and self-shame about being gay. Nothing is further from the truth for bisexuals.
Showing up with our opposite-gender partner is not to try and reclaim our gayness or to “pretend” like we are part of the community. It is not to throw it in your face that I can pass in the hetero world. It is because queers are my community. I come to pride to recognize what others have sacraficed so I can be out and proud. I come to connect with members of my community. My community. As much as groups of queers reject me, it doesn’t matter. I am queer and proud and will show up for you.
This year when you are out and celebrating, don’t automatically assume every differently-gendered couple is straight. We are part of your community, whether you like it or not.