Whether you personally are new to kink, or you are dating someone new to kink, it is an exciting time filled with fun and learning! It can also be intimidating, scary, and overwhelming. Knowing what to do, where to go, and where good resources are can be hard to figure out and find. Here are seven tips for the new kinkster to help you find kink that works for you! I. There is No “Right Way” to do Kink Kink is personal. This means your kink can look the way you want it too and

If you are into role playing, most likely you are familiar with the classics: student/teacher, parent/child, landowner/servant, maid/Mistress. These are classics for a reason. They all involve power differentials, they have fun costumes, and you can do a lot of different versions of each one. Here are ten new role play ideas. Take them as jumping off points and have fun! 1. Harry Potter Finds His Magic Wand If you have read the Harry Potter books or scene the movies, you are

“We need to talk.” Its the sentence many of us live in fear of hearing from our partners. When we get a text or a message or a partner says, “We need to talk,” and then leaves time between the statement and when they clarify what the talk is about, most of us start to mentally spin horror stories. A text of “We need to talk. Are you free tonight?” generally means for the next umpteen hours we will be running through a variety of scenarios all ending in horrible, relationship-

I’ll be honest, I have never been a huge cat fan. I mean, you adopt this pet who poos in your house, who is petty and controlling, and who will eat you when your are dead. I know I’m going to come home late one night, choke on something, and die. Two days later, my cat will be like, “Um… I don’t have any Whiskas tonight, guess its Fancy Face,” and will eat me. That said, I acquiesced when my mom wanted to get a cat. We live on a wooded property and ground squirrels, mice and

The great thing about the advent of the internet, search engines, and millions of pages with information about kink/BDSM is that it has allowed millions more people access to information to explore their kinky side. People learn that they are not “freaks” – in the bad sense – and that they are not alone in their desires and needs. This is undeniably great! I would not change the availability for people to find information about kink and connect with others for the world! Howe

In the kinky world we use a lot of labels. Queer, kinky, top, bottom, Master, slave, Domme, submissive, baby girl, pet, Daddy, switch, demisexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, cis, trans, agender, nonbinary, it goes on. While labels have a purpose, they are also problematic. Labels are great in that they provide a shorthand for us to identify something about ourselves and connect with others using this shorthand. For example, if I am talking to another person who has t