I love protocols. I have found safety and security in protocol for years. It helps me get into submissive head space. It can create...

Hey my kinky peeps! I love you. I do. But, as a community, we have got some work to do. We are not inclusive as we should be. We are...

The recent election of the racist cheeto has many folks in the kink community reeling. We are hurt and horrified by the hate harbored in...

Since America is voting today and will either get the first female president or its first/last dictator supreme, I figured I would post...

One of the core principles of BDSM play is that players, all players, have a right to protect their body and mind. We stress consent,...

Insecurity about did in my marriage. Other things killed it, but my insecurity was a big issue. I honestly thought I had conquered the...

I know that seems counter-intuitive to most people. Isn’t the role of an s-type based on giving power, sometimes total power, to a...

I love the BDSM community. I love kink. It is integral to who I am and how I see the world. I love the aesthetic, the values, and the...

One of the best things about the kink community is that it places consent front and center of community values. Not only do groups talk...

At some point in the last decade culture in the United States started demanding that people be certain about everything. We collectively...

Talking about “triggers” and starting posts and group discussions with “trigger warnings” is now de riguer in the kink community. It has...

By now, you have probably seen images from BDSM/kink movies or pornography. You may have tied up a date or given someone a spanking. It’s...

Vice.com just put out an article about people seeking to qualify polyamory as a sexual orientation. It’s not, but don’t stop reading....

What is portrayed in the popular media makes a big difference. Not a profound statement,  but most people- even those who agree- often...

After teaching my class “Power Exchange and Mental Illness” several times and corresponding with folks online who have read my writing...

Service is quintessential to much of submission. Submissives of many ilks incorporate some form of service into their submission. We...

My first serious girlfriend told me I was not worth the risk to marry because I had Bipolar. She knew this when we got together. Still,...

I have been overwhelmed by the number of stories in the past few weeks about the horrors brought about by men who did not feel like they...

Sex positive has become a new catchphrase in the professional word of sex educators and writers and body-positive movement folks. I am...

Consent is one of these topics that comes up all the time in the kink community. It will come up in the wider world after a horrific rape...