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Love letters to a unicorn is a blog covering kink, power exchange, and sex from the perspective of a submissive or bottom. It provides sex toy reviews and a vetted list of resources as well.

Rebecca Blanton

May 29, 2022
1 min

Jet Noir: Muse

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ezah8-1239b3b Guest: Jet Noir, Burlesque dancer Jet Noir joins Fat Chicks on Top to talk about burlesque, inspiration, living in iconic cities, and being raised in a sex-positive family in Detroit in the 1980s. As a Black, cis-male dancer, Jet has a different journey and experience with the art form that the other artists featured in the Erotic Performer series. One of my most interesting interviews! Social Media: Linktr.ee/JetNoir Shows

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Rebecca Blanton

Apr 11, 2022
1 min

Summer Reading List

Meg Elison, Author I finally got to talk to one of my favorite authors, Meg Elison. She has written the Road to Nowhere series, Big Girl, and a whole lot more! If you read the reviews on this site, you know I fawned over her piece in Best Lesbian Erotica v6. You can listen to my full interview on this week’s Fat Chicks on Top episode 207. One of the great things to come out of this episode was a wonderful reading list! Meg talks about books she loved, those that changed the

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How To Communicate When You Hate Long Talks

Rebecca Blanton

Jan 24, 2022
4 min

How To Communicate When You Hate Long Talks

Communication is key. You have heard it hundreds, if not thousands of time when it comes to creating successful relationships and successful kink scene, “Communicate.” Great! But, what happppens if you are not a big talker? Or if you are shy? Or if you simply hate having long, deep discussions about feelings and needs? Communication for folks who don’t like long talks may seem difficult at first glance. However, there are lots of different forms of communication. See if any o

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 12, 2022
4 min

Dating in an On-going Pandemic

Being single, or at least being in a position to date, during the pandemic is challenging. We all crave human touch and interaction. We also all have a level of risk we are personally comfortable with. With the numbers of COVID infections skyrocketing to distrubing levels, what can you do to date, stay safe(r), and still get some basic needs met? Take All Reasonable Precautions There are basic and reasonable precautions to take during this pandemic. For almost all adults, get

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Rebecca Blanton

Dec 26, 2021
2 min

Getting What You Want in 2022: Step 1

It is almost the end of 2021. I know mine has been exhausting. While the career aspect is going strong and health is slowly improving, other areas have been trying… to put it gently. Its the time of year we sit and reflect on what has happened, what we wanted to happen, and the gap between. It is also a time we start to think about how we want to approach the new year. While I have never been a big New Year’s resolution fan, preferring to set and change goals throughout the y

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Can’t Find the Dom(me) of Your Dreams? This May Be Why!

Rebecca Blanton

Oct 13, 2021
6 min

Can’t Find the Dom(me) of Your Dreams? This May Be Why!

Dating while kinky can be fun. It can also be immensely frustrating! Finding and connecting with a partner who matches you on desire, relationship compatability, and personality is difficult at best. It can be easy to find someone to play with but much harder to find a long-term romantic partner. For many submissives, being single is hard in the same way being single for anyone can be hard. However, kinky folks have an added component of feeling like they are not “really a su

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Rebecca Blanton

Sep 2, 2021
4 min

Options Other Than Faking Orgasms

If you read much sex writing or feminist think pieces you are probably innunadate with work on the ‘orgasm gap’ and the admonition to stop faking your orgasms. In theory, these folks are right. The problem with faking orgasms is manifold: you don’t get the pleasure of climax, your partner doesn’t learn what helps you reach climax, low levels of communication in general. The problem with just telling women to stop faking orgasms is that the advice ignores the many reasons wome

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7 Tips to Help You Screen For Abusers on Kink Sites

Rebecca Blanton

Jun 29, 2021
4 min

7 Tips to Help You Screen For Abusers on Kink Sites

In a most predictable move, once BDSM became a topic most American’s had heard about, abusers co-opted its language to justify their behavior. Celebrities like Marilyn Manson and Armie Hammer have defended allegations of abuse and violence as simply consensual BDSM. Its not just celebrities claiming abusive behavior is really consensual kink. Fetlife has been inundated with people who are seeking their next abuse victim and housing their search in the language of kink. The as

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Having a Hard Time Feeling Sexy? You are Not Alone!

Rebecca Blanton

Nov 16, 2020
10 min

Having a Hard Time Feeling Sexy? You are Not Alone!

Its been a hard year. A. Very. Hard. Year. Between COVID lockdowns and restrictions, the election, the United States beginning to recon with is horrible treatment of Black Americans, many of us losing our jobs, and just general jack-assery by so many people, it has sucked for most of us. Me included. There are plenty of days I want to run around screaming just to try and release a sense of existential dread. If, in the middle of all of this, you are having a hard time feelin

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 28, 2020
8 min

So You Want to Try a Threesome…

One of my favorite old BritComs is Coupling (sort of the British Friends). In one of the episodes the highly sexed Patrick announces that he is going to dump his girlfriend of the moment because she is too naive. She ruled out a threesome at the first mention of one! Patrick insists that threesomes don’t really happen, they are just a fantasy that a woman must prolong up until the point she has a baby. So, okay, looking beyond the misogynism and stereotypes here, the show doe

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What Monogamous Folks Can Learn from Non-Monogamy

Rebecca Blanton

Dec 3, 2019
5 min

What Monogamous Folks Can Learn from Non-Monogamy

Monogamy is an idealized relationship style. Its “all-or-nothing.” One slip up – one flirtation leading to a kiss, one sexual encounter, one Facebook message exchange gone to far and your perfect monogamous relationship is blown up. This does not mean monogamy is somehow “unnatural” or “wrong” in terms of relationship styles. It does mean that how we think about monogamy as a culture needs some adjustment. Likewise, I am not an “open relationship or nothing” type of girl. I h

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Rebecca Blanton

Aug 27, 2019
4 min

Sexier Sex? Plan for it!

I can remember the first time I read Macho Sluts by Pat Califia. While all the sex was really hot, a few of the stories stood out because the characters planned scenes. This was not the sex I saw anywhere else in the world. Like most folks, the sex I saw was the sex on movies and televisions. It was always unplanned. Great sex was supposed to be spontaneous. Characters never talked about desires or needs. There was never any planning. There was rarely any birth control! Some

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Rebecca Blanton

May 25, 2019
1 min

What a Drag!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-4nqff-b26bb3 Episode 15: What a Drag! Host: Auntie Vice, Amy Estes Guests: Eartha Tremors (of the Windy City Imperial Court), Katori Knight (guest performer with the Rebel Kings), and Shahera Hyatt (comic) Drag is so much more than what we see on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Eartha Tremors of the Windy City Imperial Court joins Auntie Vice to chat about the Court’s history, purpose and drag more broadly. Katori Knight talks about performing as a

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Rebecca Blanton

Nov 11, 2018
1 min

Episode 9: 40!!!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-gpaia-9ee5de 40!!! Guests: Evie Vane (author, blogger) and Tina Hayes (Belly Dancer/Model) Auntie Vice and guest co-host CharRon Smith discuss their feelings on turning 40 and what they have discovered now that they both passed that milestone. Evie Vane discusses her award-winning book Bondage for All Bodies, discovering kink after 40, and her work in the bondage community. Tina Hayes discusses how the body positive movement has impacted

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Rebecca Blanton

Sep 27, 2018
10 min

10 Things Everyone Can Learn from Kink

One of the most fortuitous events in my life was discovering the kinky world at about the same time I started puberty. It provided me with a buffer from the shaming, consent violating, controlling norms of our predominant culture. I didn’t realize how much pain I was protected from growing up kinky until much later in life. Thirty years down the road, I look back and can honestly say, regardless of what activities you actually enjoy doing in bed kink culture can teach you a f

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Rebecca Blanton

Jul 23, 2018
5 min

5 Questions for a Kinky First Date

The great thing about the advent of the internet, search engines, and millions of pages with information about kink/BDSM is that it has allowed millions more people access to information to explore their kinky side. People learn that they are not “freaks” – in the bad sense – and that they are not alone in their desires and needs. This is undeniably great! I would not change the availability for people to find information about kink and connect with others for the world! Howe

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Rebecca Blanton

May 31, 2017
2 min

Talking to Fat Girls About Your Body

I am a fat girl. I have been for a long time. I don’t mince words or try and elide the fact that I am fat. I am okay with it. Most people are not. Most of my friends are fit to very fit. Its partly living in Northern California. Its partly hanging out with burlesque and roller derby girls and rock climbing guys. I can keep up with some, but not all during hiking, running and the like. I wear a bikini in public. I get naked on stage. I sunbathe naked. I love all of this. I gen

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Can’t Find “The Right One?” You Might be the Problem

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 2, 2017
5 min

Can’t Find “The Right One?” You Might be the Problem

Again today, as with so many days, I came upon a thread of women bitching about “no good men left.” As with so many of these threads on social media, relationship advice columns, and just general bitch-fests, there is a default consensus that there are no “good” men/women left to date and the people complaining are the only “decent” person in the world left to date. Okay… so that is boring AF. But, I decided to meditate on the issue a bit here since I have had this conversati

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10 Things You Can Do To Increase Intimacy

Rebecca Blanton

Jan 9, 2017
6 min

10 Things You Can Do To Increase Intimacy

I love sex! I do. And I think sex is important to most healthy romantic relationships. The old adage is sex is about ten percent of any good relationship. However, when the sex is bad or missing it taints 90 percent of the relationship. Personally, I have found that to be very true. Sex is one important form of intimacy you have with partner(s). There are lots of other ways to be intimate. We often forget to nourish and grow these non-sexual areas of intimacy. However, there

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 4, 2017
3 min

You Want Hair Where!?!

Okay ladies, let’s talk about hair. You know, the hair down there. When I went back out on the dating scene about five years ago I discovered there was a demand that women be bare. It didn’t really matter if you shaved, waxed or plucked. Men on the dating scene really, really hated pubic hair on the ladies. [They, of course, did very little personal grooming but god help you if you had pubes.] So, like many women I got rid of mine. I had let them come back in a bit after my d

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