As more of us get vaccinated and back out there, so many of y’all are posting about having a slutty summer. Yay! I strongly encourage this. If you want to truly go hard of the “Hot Girl Summer” or whatever you call it, host an orgy/sex night. I have your tips right here. First, who would do this? Lots of people! While orgies are usually punchlines for comics or relegated to “key party” representation in films, they can be much more than that. With many of us in consensually n

Listen on Spotify Finding out your partner has cheated on you is often devastating. Regardless of your relationship style (monogamous, non-monogamous, polyam), partners can cheat. Any time a person violates the pre-agreed upon boundaries of a relationship, that is cheating. As a society, we talk about cheating in salacious ways. Its office or church gossip. It’s watching Cheaters, or daytime talk shows. It is seen as a terminal point for a relationships. When famous folks che

Hot take: A majority of folks you date will have dissimilar sexual needs and tastes than you do. Most couples I have met over my 40+ years have mismatched sexual needs. This can come in the form of frequency of sexual desire, needs around who initiates sex and how, what activities are desired, or a combination of all of the above. Being part of a sexually mismatched couple can range from mildly annoying to a massive issue in the relationship. My mother, a therapists, is fond

First, let me get a few things in the open (if you are not already familiar). One, I like sex. I like it a lot and believe it should be talked about, enjoyed and celebrated. Two, I have had a few slutty moments in my life, and I am not above a one-night-stand. HOWEVER, I can’t stand the “sex first!” culture fostered in several communities I have been a part of. By sex-first, I don’t mean sex positive. Sex positive is enjoy, and embracing and respecting sex and sexuality. Sex-

If you practice consensual non-monogamy, can you cheat? The short answer is, “Yes.” I practice ethical non-monogamy. My friends who are monogamous often assume this means I can sleep with anyone I want, at any time, and my partners with just accept it. This is far from the case. Ethical non-monogamy stresses the ETHICAL part. If you just sleep around, that is just non-monogamy. Ethical non-monogamy stresses practicing non-monogamy within boundaries. Ethical non-monogamy and p

Guys, some of us girls have found out your secrets. We know that there are a lot of you who use online dating sites to find Ms. Right Now with little intention of finding Ms. Right. We know you will indicate you want a relationship, you will say lovely things until you get us into bed, then most likely, you will not text again. Here are a couple of girl secrets. A lot of girls also want Mr. Right Now and really do not want you to text two days after the first (and only) hook-

We, as a society, need to talk a lot more about variants on sexuality and relationship styles. For a long time I have maintained that the oppressive modeling of the heteronormative monogamous marriage as the ultimate goal for adult relationships is harmful. Now that I am out an open as a kinky person, I am realizing how much damage this image causes people. In the last three months I have had almost a dozen conversations with people who have said, “Wow! I did not know this ex

The above image was posted on a poly board I am a part of and it started a short conversation. I had more to say about it than a Facebook post, so I am opting to post it here. For people who practice poly or non-monogamy (not the same thing) jealousy can be an issue. It is the same in monogamous relationships, except in monogamous relationships jealousy is seen as both normal and desirable. Jealousy, in the broader culture, tends to represent desire to be with someone, intens

For a long time it was odd to me that I could be in a social situation where my multiple intimate partners were present, we would all be okay with the situation, but people who were not involved with us would be freaking out. For example, I would throw a cocktail party at my house. I would invite the three men I was currently sleeping with. They knew about each other and they personally knew each other. None of them had an issue that I was not monogamous and none had a desire