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A Sexy Bucket List: How many have you done?

Updated: Aug 22, 2022

I am a fan of sexual and intimacy goal setting. It is a way to prioritize your pleasure and not let it languish as life happens. It also provides inspiration when things feel a bit redundant or boring.

However, so many sexual bucket lists take two approaches I am not a fan of. The first lists types or people to have sex with. These lists fetishize race, size, fame and are gross in my opinion. The other approach is to list a long set of activities with little context. These can supply inspriation, but feels hollow to me.

I am a fan of prioritizing emotions and connection for sex. Here is a bucket list of different types to sexual emotional encounters to pursue. As you reminisce about the different times you have satisfied one of these list items, think about what itt told you about yourself.

Connection-Centered Sexual Bucket List

  1. First time being seen by another person of the same gender naked and vulnerable.

  2. First time being seen by a person of another gender naked and vulnerable.

  3. Cathartic sex/play where you release pent-up negative emotions.

  4. Sexual play to show devotion and service.

  5. Sexual play to discharge huge amounts of sexual tension.

  6. Sexual play to express a deep love to someone.

  7. Sexual play to say “I’m sorry,” after a fight.

  8. Sexual play to say, “You are beautiful to me.”

  9. Sexual play to reconnect with your own body.

  10. Sexual play to help your partner feel better about their body.

  11. Sexual play to celebrate a major acheivement.

  12. Sexual play to be silly.

  13. Sexual play to reconnect after a long separation.

  14. Sexual play to offer a partner reassurance/be reassured.

  15. Sexual play to prove your endurance.

  16. Sexual play to worship another person’s body.

  17. Sexual play that ends with both (all) of you cracking up at jokes.

  18. Sexual play that invokes fear (for you or a partner).

  19. Sexual play because you are bored and there is nothing on TV.

  20. Sexual play that involves exploring your shadow self.

  21. Sexual play to deepen trust with a partner.

  22. Sexual play to make-up for a fight inspired by assembling flat-pack furniture.

  23. Sexual enounter which allowed you to let go of all control.

  24. Sexual encounter which allowed you to take total control of the events.

  25. Sexual play that was so amazing you couldn’t stop yourself from sharing with friends.

  26. Sexual play that was so intimate it remains just between you and the person(s) involved.

  27. Sexual play that becomes the primary memory in your spank bank.

  28. Masturbation session where you romanced yourself.

  29. Masturbation session where you tried out new toys or techniques and surprised yourself.

  30. Sexual play which inspired you (or a partner) to involuntarily shout, “I love you.”

  31. Sexual play where you realized this is what sex is supposed to feel like.

  32. Sexual play where you learn something new about yourself.

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