I have had to come out about things a few times in my life. I’m queer. I’m bipolar. I am kinky. None of these things are obvious at first...

I was invited to roast a friend’s husband for his birthday last night. She started the show by mentioning they had just finished a 27 day...

Simple answer… yes, yes it is. Regardless of what you do, it is weird to someone. One the the most shocking things I do or say is that I...

Its the most common question I see of new kinksters, “Am I doing this right?” It comes in several versions, “I think I am a Domme, but I...

I have been preparing to teach a class at subCON this weekend in NYC. The great thing about teaching any subject is that you are forced...

April is National Poetry Month! In Sacramento, there are a bunch of poets celebrating by doing guerrilla performances of their work. Here...

“Submission is a gift.” I hear that phrase constantly in the kink community. I hear submissives say it. I hear Dom(me)s say it. Switches...

I have been away from this blog for a couple of weeks due to illness. For two and a half years I have been trying to get some chronic...

I want to talk about sources and research about BDSM and D/s relationships. With the development of the Internet, it has become very easy...

Okay, yes, I have done a lot of things. And yes, I have done a lot of people. And sure, I talk about some of it. But, no I haven’t done...

I have had a bunch of conversations lately about incorporating sex into BDSM play. Some people have to have both in a session, others do...

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/grownups.png xkcd.com/150/ In many, many ways I am a nerd. I am an academic and still default to researching...

HIV/AIDS has played a prominent role in my life. The first volunteer work I started with at 13 was volunteering for an AIDS organization...

Guys, some of us girls have found out your secrets. We know that there are a lot of you who use online dating sites to find Ms. Right Now...

One of the things I like most about the BDSM/kink community is the presence of rules and structure. These come in basic rules for...

My last post about sub space got a flood of responses. Most of the 3,000+ people who replied here and on Fetlife were very complimentary....

Image from www.korucorner.co.nz All rights reserved. When I was an undergrad, I took a course on altered states of consciousness. The...

There is a local comedian in Sacramento who does a great joke. She starts with the premise that her parents used to spank her. Now, she...

I love Halloween. Its basically the primary gay holiday in the U.S. I love dressing up, going out, having a ton of fun, and finishing the...

Okay, I get that most people not in the kink community believe that kink and BDSM only refer to sex. I get that kink and BDSM are very...