Nothing puts a damper of getting down and dirty as visiting the parents for the holidays! With mom, dad, the kids, grandparents, or other relatives in the house it can be hard to express your kink with a partner as you would if you were alone or with other kinky folks. So, what is a wild and kinky guy to do? Here are ways to practice your kink and power exchange without alerting others!
Use “Sir” or “Madam/Miss” Honorifics
If your power exchange relationship involves using honorifics, you can continue to use them with relatives. If you use honorifics other than “Sir” or “Madam/Miss” you might want to have a conversation with your partner about changing to more passable language.
Most vanilla folks consider calling a partner by “Sir” or “Madam/Miss” as either respect or an inside joke with a couple. Very few will connect it to you being kinky. Unlike “Daddy” or “Mistress,” these altnerates do not scream “We do kinky stuff!” to vanilla folks. Using these passable honorifics can keep your practice of power exchange going while spending time with your relatives.
Invest in Pervertables
If you don’t want to travel to grandma’s with a bag full of sex toys, pervertibles can be a great option. Use neckties or the ties of a bathrobe for a quick bondage element. Chlothes pins or clips from a craft store can make quick nipple clamps. Bring a sleep mask and use it as a blindfold. Stuff a pair of panties in his mouth to keep him quiet instead of a ball gag. No one is going to question why these items are in your luggage if they stumble across them. You can even leave them out in the guest room without sending any signals you might be kinky.
Use an “Away” Collar
Collared? Is it one that is very obviously a collar? Still want to be collared but not tip off your Aunt Jean? Find a suitable away collar. Just like sports teams have home and away jerseys, it is completely appropriate to have a home and away collar. An elegant choker or short chain works well. A longer chain with a charm on it selected by your dominant can serve the same purpose. You can still engage in the ritual of putting it on and off, honor your relationship, and not have to explain the “dog collar” around your neck.
Develop a Set of Body Language Signals
Does your relationship involve asking permission to do specific activities (e.g., speaking, using the bathroom, eating)? Develop a set of nonverbal cues to continue this behavior. Small head nods, lifting one or two fingers, crossing your fingers, and other nonverbal cues can take the place of language. This will allow you to continue your agreed upon protocols without having to verbalize anything.
Adapt Your Play
Impact play can be very noisy! It can be very difficult to find a suspension point in your old bedroom with the twin bed. It can be awkward to have to use the bathroom down the hall if your are wearing a dog mask. This doesn’t meant you have to stop all kinky play when you visit relatives.
Take your rope undercover. Tying someone into a hip or chest harness and having them wear clothing over it can be hot. The person tied will have a constant reminder of your connection (as will the dominant).
Add clothing decisions to your protocol. If you have protocols which are too hard to continue with family because you will tip them off you are kinky, drop the awkward ones and replace them with clothing protocols. Have a dominant choose your underwear, or your choice of dress, or your ability to wear a bra (or not). Once you are dressed, no onw will be the wiser you were not in charge of your own clothing decisions.
While you may not be able to do your full array of regular kink activities while with the family, there is no need to go cold turkey. A little planning can keep your kinky side satisfied even if Uncle Clarence is bunking in the next room.
Gags. Bring a gag. You can bring a ball gag if you want. A scarf or pair of underwear can make a great make-shift gag. Gagging is kinky in itself. It can also muffle noises as your nipples are tortured or someone inserts a large butt plug or other fun sexy behavior.
#kink #BDSM #protocols #traveling #rope #ropeplay #holidays #discretion #collar #prevertables #gags #dominant #powerexchange #submission