Immediacy is valued by many. We want what we want and we want it now! The whole concept of delayed gratification has become nearly...

The presence of non-binary gendered folks is becoming more known. Some groups in the kink and queer worlds are starting to recognize that...

Tips for identifying abuse with the BDSM community and power exchange relationship

Let’s talk STIs. Sexually Transmitted Infections. I know, totally not sexy. I get it. You only want certain types of dripping going on...

Since Thanksgiving is this week in the United States, I am going to step out of the series of posts on community building and give thanks...

I love protocols. I have found safety and security in protocol for years. It helps me get into submissive head space. It can create...

Hey my kinky peeps! I love you. I do. But, as a community, we have got some work to do. We are not inclusive as we should be. We are...

We are six days out from the shock of the cheeto’s election. Things are starting to clarify how various social justice groups are going...

I came out in 1988. Gay rights (it was called Gay rights at the time) were beginning to get some momentum. However, the queer movement...

The recent election of the racist cheeto has many folks in the kink community reeling. We are hurt and horrified by the hate harbored in...

I know you are dancing and drinking and celebrating what you see is your candidate winning. I know you don’t get why most Americans (and...

Since America is voting today and will either get the first female president or its first/last dictator supreme, I figured I would post...

One of the core principles of BDSM play is that players, all players, have a right to protect their body and mind. We stress consent,...

Insecurity about did in my marriage. Other things killed it, but my insecurity was a big issue. I honestly thought I had conquered the...

I know that seems counter-intuitive to most people. Isn’t the role of an s-type based on giving power, sometimes total power, to a...

I love the BDSM community. I love kink. It is integral to who I am and how I see the world. I love the aesthetic, the values, and the...

This morning Trump released a barrage of tweets speculating that former beauty queen Machado had made a sex tape. Of course, as with most...

One of the best things about the kink community is that it places consent front and center of community values. Not only do groups talk...

I had the great honor this weekend to chair a panel at CatalystCon in Los Angeles. I presented a panel with Joie de Vivre and Diana Hong...

The worst part of the aftermath of being raped was being told over and over again that I must report the rape. Every health professional...