#BDSM

Love letters to a unicorn is a blog covering kink, power exchange, and sex from the perspective of a submissive or bottom. It provides sex toy reviews and a vetted list of resources as well.

Can’t Find the Dom(me) of Your Dreams? This May Be Why!

Rebecca Blanton

Oct 13, 2021
6 min

Can’t Find the Dom(me) of Your Dreams? This May Be Why!

Dating while kinky can be fun. It can also be immensely frustrating! Finding and connecting with a partner who matches you on desire, relationship compatability, and personality is difficult at best. It can be easy to find someone to play with but much harder to find a long-term romantic partner. For many submissives, being single is hard in the same way being single for anyone can be hard. However, kinky folks have an added component of feeling like they are not “really a su

0 views0 comments

4 Unexepected ways Audio Porn is Better Than Sex

Rebecca Blanton

Oct 7, 2021
5 min

4 Unexepected ways Audio Porn is Better Than Sex

By April Sutphen Sponsored Post Some people might argue that there’s no better feeling in the world than having sex, when in actuality, they’re likely referring to the grande finale of sex — the orgasm, of course! Having an orgasm not only feels good but it’s actually good for your health too. Studies show that frequent sex improves cardiovascular health, reduces the risk of heart disease, and may even help combat anxiety and depression. Sex also offers emotional benefits lik

3 views0 comments

What Can You Do If You Disagree with Your Dominant?

Rebecca Blanton

Sep 20, 2021
3 min

What Can You Do If You Disagree with Your Dominant?

One of the most difficult issues of being a submissive or other s-type is having a disagreement with your dominant. Power exchange relationships often include agreements about areas of power where the dominant gets final decision control. Finding yourself at odds with thier decisions in one of these areas can be emotionally taxing for a submissive. Finding a way to express your concerns and disagreements without violating the relationship dynamic is a common challenge for man

1 view0 comments

5 Common Beliefs Which Undermine Your Sex Life

Rebecca Blanton

Sep 12, 2021
4 min

5 Common Beliefs Which Undermine Your Sex Life

You receive messages about sex and sexuality your entire live. From the media you watch, listen to, and read, to how your parents discussed sex and sexuality, to what friends say, you learn all sorts of stuff about sexuality. While some of this information can be helpful, much of it is biased, heternormative, and culturally biased. You take in messages about sex and sexuality and even when you don’t want them to, and then they shape your behavior and beliefs. This blog covers

3 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Aug 18, 2021
4 min

BDSM Beyond the Bedroom

If you are new-ish to kink you may be under the impression that power exchange and kink are specifically for sex and intimate play time. Its easy to get that impression with the way BDSM is portrayed in the wider media. However, for many people, power exchange and kink go beyond sex and intimate play. It is a way to structure relationships, affirm identities, and maintain connections with partners. How Do I Know if BDSM Beyond the Bedroom is Right for Me? If you have been enj

1 view0 comments

An Introduction to Body Affirming Kink Play

Rebecca Blanton

Aug 15, 2021
3 min

An Introduction to Body Affirming Kink Play

Feeling bad about your body is common. Regardless of your actual weight, height, ability, shape, gender, or age, anyone can feel bad about they way they look. Feeling bad about your body can make it harder to connect with someone romantically and intimately. If you are not comfortable with the way you look, you may not want to be naked in front of someone, feel guarded, or unwilling to get physically close to someone. Various types of kinky play and power exchange can help yo

3 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Aug 2, 2021
5 min

7 Tips When You Are New to Kink

Whether you personally are new to kink, or you are dating someone new to kink, it is an exciting time filled with fun and learning! It can also be intimidating, scary, and overwhelming. Knowing what to do, where to go, and where good resources are can be hard to figure out and find. Here are seven tips for the new kinkster to help you find kink that works for you! I. There is No “Right Way” to do Kink Kink is personal. This means your kink can look the way you want it too and

4 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jul 22, 2021
6 min

Combining Weed and Kink? Read This!

Photo by Kindel Media on Pexels.com Weed is now legal in 18 U.S. states and the District of Columbia; two countries (Canada and Uruguay) and several other jurisdictions (Amsterdam, etc). It is also widely available in states and countries where is is not so legal. With the increasing ease of getting marijuana, more people are using it with sex. Many Americans (and others as well) see marijuana use as socially acceptable and consider it a less-risky drug that alcohol, tobacco,

3 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jul 16, 2021
7 min

How Do You Create an Aftercare Plan?

Aftercare is a frequently mentioned idea in kink/BDSM classes and touted as “important” for safe, sane, and consensual play. Most of the time, class instructors will say to “make an aftercare plan” and mention things like blankets, snuggles and food. However, figuring out what aftercare plan works for you is rarely discussed! Further, many instructors fail to mention any type of aftercare for D-types. So, how do you figure out what aftercare you and your partner(s) need? How

0 views0 comments

7 Tips to Help You Screen For Abusers on Kink Sites

Rebecca Blanton

Jun 29, 2021
4 min

7 Tips to Help You Screen For Abusers on Kink Sites

In a most predictable move, once BDSM became a topic most American’s had heard about, abusers co-opted its language to justify their behavior. Celebrities like Marilyn Manson and Armie Hammer have defended allegations of abuse and violence as simply consensual BDSM. Its not just celebrities claiming abusive behavior is really consensual kink. Fetlife has been inundated with people who are seeking their next abuse victim and housing their search in the language of kink. The as

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jun 22, 2021
7 min

7 Tips for Hosting an Orgy

As more of us get vaccinated and back out there, so many of y’all are posting about having a slutty summer. Yay! I strongly encourage this. If you want to truly go hard of the “Hot Girl Summer” or whatever you call it, host an orgy/sex night. I have your tips right here. First, who would do this? Lots of people! While orgies are usually punchlines for comics or relegated to “key party” representation in films, they can be much more than that. With many of us in consensually n

1 view0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jun 2, 2021
4 min

Why Mantras Are Important to BDSM

You are probably familiar with mantras. They are short statements or words said repeatedly to help focus you. They are rooted in Buddhism and Hinduism. However, many people have adopted them to fit the need to stay focused or connect with oneself. If you have participated in some meditation classes, you probably experienced saying a single word or sound repeatedly to help focus your mind. The classic “Om” chanted during mediation is a mantra. Why would these mantras be import

11 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

May 13, 2021
6 min

Sex Toy Buying Guide

Sex toys are prolific! They range from the cheap to the ridiculously expensive. From reputable brands to knock-offs to independent producers. They are made of so many materials it is hard to catalogue. They are different sizes, shapes, powers, remote controlled, bluetooth options and more! So, how do you know what toys are body safe, going to work, worth their price, and more? Make Sure They Are Body Safe Sex toys are made of all sorts of materials. Some are safe to insert in

2 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 28, 2021
12 min

What Is a Submissive’s Responsibility?

I love it when I come across people writing about submission in a deep and thoughtful way! If you have not discovered The Pleasure Coach, check out this post to get you started: The Sovereignty of Submission. Reading this post brought me back to the subject of power and submission (see here here and here for examples). I come from the viewpoint that both partners in a D/s style relationship have power and responsibility. Even in a 24/7 Master/slave dynamic both parties have s

2 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 12, 2021
4 min

10 New Role Play Ideas!

If you are into role playing, most likely you are familiar with the classics: student/teacher, parent/child, landowner/servant, maid/Mistress. These are classics for a reason. They all involve power differentials, they have fun costumes, and you can do a lot of different versions of each one. Here are ten new role play ideas. Take them as jumping off points and have fun! 1. Harry Potter Finds His Magic Wand If you have read the Harry Potter books or scene the movies, you are

2 views0 comments

Need a Little Sexy Inspiration? Try This!

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 9, 2021
4 min

Need a Little Sexy Inspiration? Try This!

One think a lot of people new to kink and BDSM find surprising is that even with the most experienced kinky folks, we can get a bit bored with our sexy routines. Just like people who are more vanilla, sometimes kinky folks need to shake up the routine to make sex something exciting and fun! If your “regular” sex involves whips, chains, candle wax and piss play, where do you go from there? Good news everyone! You don’t have to “take your kink to the next level” and start throw

2 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Mar 29, 2021
1 min

Essential Safety Gear for Kinky Play

Most people who teach kink and BDSM play classes will mention having the appropriate safety equipment around in case of emergency. However, not everyone mentions what should be included in your basic kinky first aid kit. Never fear! Auntie Vice is here! This post will provide you with a checklist and links to where to buy various kinky safety gear. Honestly, most of it can be purchased at your local drug store, so I have created a downloadable shopping list: Kinky First Aid K

2 views0 comments

7 Tips for Navigating the Post-COVID Kink World

Rebecca Blanton

Mar 15, 2021
4 min

7 Tips for Navigating the Post-COVID Kink World

Things are beginning to open back up in the United States and elsewhere. While we are not at a point with public health to fully reopen safely, plenty of states are plowing ahead to bring commerce back on line regardless of the health consequences. Eventually, this year or next, we will be reopened for commerce, conferences, play parties and munches. Most of us have really missed these events. A year in relative isolation, Zoom events and classes, and lack of human touch will

0 views0 comments

6 Tips on Making Your Kink Venue/Event Emotionally/Socially Accessible (Part 2)

Rebecca Blanton

Mar 11, 2021
5 min

6 Tips on Making Your Kink Venue/Event Emotionally/Socially Accessible (Part 2)

Physical accessibility is only part of the picture when it comes to making spaces and events accessible. That is often the easy part! If your space is physically accessible but people ignore/freeze out folks with various accessibility needs or work to make it uncomfortable for them so that the disabled person “opts” not to return, your space is not accessible. Here are some tips and tools to make your space more emotionally and socially accessible to folks with varying access

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Mar 8, 2021
6 min

9 Tips To Make Your Kink Venue More Accessible (Part 1)

I miss going to dungeons and play parties! I can’t wait for the world to finally be able to safely reopen. That said, I don’t want things to go back to normal. Normal (read: in the before times) meant spaces were open for play for many kinky folks, but not for all of us. Accessibility to folks with various chronic conditions and disabilities was limited or impossible. This leaves a bunch of the kink community without access to play spaces or munches. Luckily, there are a lot

0 views0 comments

Seen In:

Seen In:

Join my mailing list

As Seen In: