#relationships

Love letters to a unicorn is a blog covering kink, power exchange, and sex from the perspective of a submissive or bottom. It provides sex toy reviews and a vetted list of resources as well.

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 28, 2021
12 min

What Is a Submissive’s Responsibility?

I love it when I come across people writing about submission in a deep and thoughtful way! If you have not discovered The Pleasure Coach, check out this post to get you started: The Sovereignty of Submission. Reading this post brought me back to the subject of power and submission (see here here and here for examples). I come from the viewpoint that both partners in a D/s style relationship have power and responsibility. Even in a 24/7 Master/slave dynamic both parties have s

2 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 12, 2021
4 min

10 New Role Play Ideas!

If you are into role playing, most likely you are familiar with the classics: student/teacher, parent/child, landowner/servant, maid/Mistress. These are classics for a reason. They all involve power differentials, they have fun costumes, and you can do a lot of different versions of each one. Here are ten new role play ideas. Take them as jumping off points and have fun! 1. Harry Potter Finds His Magic Wand If you have read the Harry Potter books or scene the movies, you are

2 views0 comments

Need a Little Sexy Inspiration? Try This!

Rebecca Blanton

Apr 9, 2021
4 min

Need a Little Sexy Inspiration? Try This!

One think a lot of people new to kink and BDSM find surprising is that even with the most experienced kinky folks, we can get a bit bored with our sexy routines. Just like people who are more vanilla, sometimes kinky folks need to shake up the routine to make sex something exciting and fun! If your “regular” sex involves whips, chains, candle wax and piss play, where do you go from there? Good news everyone! You don’t have to “take your kink to the next level” and start throw

2 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jan 22, 2021
3 min

Expanding Your Kink

January 2021 brings both the desire to set goals for the new year and marks ten months in various stages of lockdown for most of us. Many of us are feeling restless, bored, disconnected, or otherwise unsatisfied. The combination of these things has made me (and probably you) want to expand your kink or explore new realms. Having limited access to our typical munches, conferences, and play spaces means many of us have had fewer outlets for our kinky desires. Additionally, bein

1 view0 comments

Having a Hard Time Feeling Sexy? You are Not Alone!

Rebecca Blanton

Nov 16, 2020
10 min

Having a Hard Time Feeling Sexy? You are Not Alone!

Its been a hard year. A. Very. Hard. Year. Between COVID lockdowns and restrictions, the election, the United States beginning to recon with is horrible treatment of Black Americans, many of us losing our jobs, and just general jack-assery by so many people, it has sucked for most of us. Me included. There are plenty of days I want to run around screaming just to try and release a sense of existential dread. If, in the middle of all of this, you are having a hard time feelin

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Oct 15, 2020
4 min

Anticipatory Service

Many of us identify as “service submissives.” We enjoy serving others (at least we enjoy serving a D-type). Some of us (including me) base our identity in part on our ability to serve. Service takes many forms. It may be sexual, domestic, emotional, physical or other. It may look like someone agreeting to participate in sexual acts which are preferred by a D-type which the sub may not take much interest in but agrees to participate as a form of service. It can be bringing you

1 view0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

May 4, 2020
3 min

Submission and Control

A vast percentage of posts about submission and control (including mine) are about the relationship between a submissive and their D-type. It is interpersonal power dynamics. However, I was reading tweets by @Ignixia the other day (follow her, she is really smart!) and she nailed a concept I have been struggling to articulate for a long time. She pointed out the reason we in the kink community frame “submission as a gift” and say “the submissive is the one with the real power

1 view0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Mar 26, 2020
1 min

Deepening Your Submission Resources

Howdy readers! I taught my “Deepening Your Submission” workshop last night through Wicked Grounds Annex. Participants asked that I put together a list of the resources I mentioned during the workshop along with the worksheet I provided. Here they are! If you did not take the class, these are still great resources for exploring submission. Check them out! I am sure I will teach the class again soon. And when travel is an option, I can come to your group and teach if you so des

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jan 28, 2020
8 min

So You Want to Try a Threesome…

One of my favorite old BritComs is Coupling (sort of the British Friends). In one of the episodes the highly sexed Patrick announces that he is going to dump his girlfriend of the moment because she is too naive. She ruled out a threesome at the first mention of one! Patrick insists that threesomes don’t really happen, they are just a fantasy that a woman must prolong up until the point she has a baby. So, okay, looking beyond the misogynism and stereotypes here, the show doe

1 view0 comments

What Monogamous Folks Can Learn from Non-Monogamy

Rebecca Blanton

Dec 3, 2019
5 min

What Monogamous Folks Can Learn from Non-Monogamy

Monogamy is an idealized relationship style. Its “all-or-nothing.” One slip up – one flirtation leading to a kiss, one sexual encounter, one Facebook message exchange gone to far and your perfect monogamous relationship is blown up. This does not mean monogamy is somehow “unnatural” or “wrong” in terms of relationship styles. It does mean that how we think about monogamy as a culture needs some adjustment. Likewise, I am not an “open relationship or nothing” type of girl. I h

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Aug 27, 2019
4 min

Sexier Sex? Plan for it!

I can remember the first time I read Macho Sluts by Pat Califia. While all the sex was really hot, a few of the stories stood out because the characters planned scenes. This was not the sex I saw anywhere else in the world. Like most folks, the sex I saw was the sex on movies and televisions. It was always unplanned. Great sex was supposed to be spontaneous. Characters never talked about desires or needs. There was never any planning. There was rarely any birth control! Some

1 view0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jun 18, 2019
3 min

Why Collars Are Important to BDSM

Guest Post By: Spices of Lust Your BDSM experience is personal to you — and your partners. It’s meant to be whatever you make of it, and there are no hard and fast rules on what kinky things you can do or how you should structure your relationships. But there is one element of BDSM that even the newest kinksters have seen, heard about, or been asked their opinion on — BDSM collars. For some, a collar is a sign of devotion, commitment, and ownership. For others, it’s something

2 views0 comments

Flip It and Reverse It: Protocols for Dominants

Rebecca Blanton

May 29, 2019
6 min

Flip It and Reverse It: Protocols for Dominants

I adore having protocols in a relationship. Those rules and rituals power exchange couples create to serve their relationship provide a sense of belonging and security to me as a submissive. Protocols have a wide variety. Some are routine (e.g., daily or weekly tasks), some are situational (e.g., opening the door for a dominant), and some are sexual (e.g., having a butt plug inserted before your D-type arrives for play). When kink classes teach about protocols it is almost un

0 views0 comments

Adult Playtime: Adding Games to Your Love Life

Rebecca Blanton

May 23, 2019
6 min

Adult Playtime: Adding Games to Your Love Life

One of the things I have always loved about BDSM and kink is the value it puts on play. Kinky folks call all the different activities we do a form of play: impact play, fire play, electric play, and so on. While our relationships are serious and often very structured, many kinky folks have a deep respect for play. Because I had the luck and joy of connecting with the kinky world shortly after I hit puberty it took me a long time to realize how many adults take sex deadly seri

1 view0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Mar 8, 2019
4 min

Submissives and Self Care

Being a service sub myself, much of my joy in life comes from caring for other people. I get an absurd level of joy from things like cooking and cleaning for others. I’ve become convinced I was a scullery maid in a past life that was happy. That said, the one thing I am bad is self care. Its a trait I share with so many other subby types. When I found out that there was a support group for folks who tended to over commit to volunteer assignments and it was started by a leathe

0 views0 comments

Loving the Consistently Inconsistent Partner

Rebecca Blanton

Jan 4, 2019
7 min

Loving the Consistently Inconsistent Partner

Dear Readers, I’m back after a long time off. Unfortunately my health battles continue and there is no help from the medical community. This means I can only work in spurts right now. We all struggle with consistency at some point. Whether its health issues (physical or mental), work schedules, kid emergencies, family interruptions, holidays or something else, our routines are broken up and we can’t practice kink the way we desire. Since I have been largely confined to bed or

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Sep 27, 2018
10 min

10 Things Everyone Can Learn from Kink

One of the most fortuitous events in my life was discovering the kinky world at about the same time I started puberty. It provided me with a buffer from the shaming, consent violating, controlling norms of our predominant culture. I didn’t realize how much pain I was protected from growing up kinky until much later in life. Thirty years down the road, I look back and can honestly say, regardless of what activities you actually enjoy doing in bed kink culture can teach you a f

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Sep 1, 2018
6 min

How to Love Your Anxious Partner

Living with anxiety is a bitch. We all experience anxiety at some point in our lives. However, lots of folks live with anxiety as part of a clinical disorder or health condition. In the U.S., 18 percent of adults (over 40 million of us) live with clinical anxiety. This persistent and excessive worrying is difficult on the person with anxiety as well as on the people who love them. Anxiety can interfere with relationships and with a person’s sex life. Worrying about how you lo

14 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jul 23, 2018
5 min

5 Questions for a Kinky First Date

The great thing about the advent of the internet, search engines, and millions of pages with information about kink/BDSM is that it has allowed millions more people access to information to explore their kinky side. People learn that they are not “freaks” – in the bad sense – and that they are not alone in their desires and needs. This is undeniably great! I would not change the availability for people to find information about kink and connect with others for the world! Howe

0 views0 comments

Rebecca Blanton

Jun 27, 2018
5 min

Sexual Healing (part 1)

The theme of healing through kink has come up repeatedly in both my reading and real life a lot lately. For me, this is a touchy subject. I know from first hand experience BDSM can be very healing. I have also seen too many people try to sublimate issues or repress feelings through sex leading to very unhealthy outcomes. Many people find engaging in kink and BDSM to be healing. It is. When practiced well, BDSM prioritizes connection, care, and respect. For many of us, incorpo

0 views0 comments

Seen In:

Seen In:

Join my mailing list

As Seen In: