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Love letters to a unicorn is a blog covering kink, power exchange, and sex from the perspective of a submissive or bottom. It provides sex toy reviews and a vetted list of resources as well.

5 Common Beliefs Which Undermine Your Sex Life

Rebecca Blanton

Sep 12, 2021
4 min

5 Common Beliefs Which Undermine Your Sex Life

You receive messages about sex and sexuality your entire live. From the media you watch, listen to, and read, to how your parents discussed sex and sexuality, to what friends say, you learn all sorts of stuff about sexuality. While some of this information can be helpful, much of it is biased, heternormative, and culturally biased. You take in messages about sex and sexuality and even when you don’t want them to, and then they shape your behavior and beliefs. This blog covers

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Rebecca Blanton

Aug 18, 2021
4 min

BDSM Beyond the Bedroom

If you are new-ish to kink you may be under the impression that power exchange and kink are specifically for sex and intimate play time. Its easy to get that impression with the way BDSM is portrayed in the wider media. However, for many people, power exchange and kink go beyond sex and intimate play. It is a way to structure relationships, affirm identities, and maintain connections with partners. How Do I Know if BDSM Beyond the Bedroom is Right for Me? If you have been enj

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Rebecca Blanton

Jul 22, 2021
6 min

Combining Weed and Kink? Read This!

Photo by Kindel Media on Pexels.com Weed is now legal in 18 U.S. states and the District of Columbia; two countries (Canada and Uruguay) and several other jurisdictions (Amsterdam, etc). It is also widely available in states and countries where is is not so legal. With the increasing ease of getting marijuana, more people are using it with sex. Many Americans (and others as well) see marijuana use as socially acceptable and consider it a less-risky drug that alcohol, tobacco,

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Rebecca Blanton

Jul 16, 2021
7 min

How Do You Create an Aftercare Plan?

Aftercare is a frequently mentioned idea in kink/BDSM classes and touted as “important” for safe, sane, and consensual play. Most of the time, class instructors will say to “make an aftercare plan” and mention things like blankets, snuggles and food. However, figuring out what aftercare plan works for you is rarely discussed! Further, many instructors fail to mention any type of aftercare for D-types. So, how do you figure out what aftercare you and your partner(s) need? How

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Rebecca Blanton

Jun 22, 2021
7 min

7 Tips for Hosting an Orgy

As more of us get vaccinated and back out there, so many of y’all are posting about having a slutty summer. Yay! I strongly encourage this. If you want to truly go hard of the “Hot Girl Summer” or whatever you call it, host an orgy/sex night. I have your tips right here. First, who would do this? Lots of people! While orgies are usually punchlines for comics or relegated to “key party” representation in films, they can be much more than that. With many of us in consensually n

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Rebecca Blanton

Apr 12, 2021
4 min

10 New Role Play Ideas!

If you are into role playing, most likely you are familiar with the classics: student/teacher, parent/child, landowner/servant, maid/Mistress. These are classics for a reason. They all involve power differentials, they have fun costumes, and you can do a lot of different versions of each one. Here are ten new role play ideas. Take them as jumping off points and have fun! 1. Harry Potter Finds His Magic Wand If you have read the Harry Potter books or scene the movies, you are

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Rebecca Blanton

Feb 22, 2021
5 min

7 Tips to Improve Your Sexy Banter

Listen on Spotify Want to stimulate the biggest sex organ for anyone? You need to get their brain aroused! While many of us rely on visual stimuli to turn on our partners, learning to talk sexy to them can up our foreplay game, improve communication, and ultimately result in better sex. For so many of us, dirty talk does not come naturally. It can feel forced, awkward, or just off-putting when we first try and let sexy things cross our lips. In general, sexy talk takes practi

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Sex Life in a Rut? Break Out of It With These 5 Tips

Rebecca Blanton

Feb 16, 2021
4 min

Sex Life in a Rut? Break Out of It With These 5 Tips

Listen on Spotify One of my favorite scenes from a movie is the therapy scene in the beginning of The Ref. Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey are in couples therapy and BD Wong is the therapist. At one point, Judy Davis’ is asked about their sex life. She replies: A couple of kisses. A couple of nipple twists. It would all be over in the time it takes to make a cappuccino. I know because I timed it once. ~ The Ref I love it because that rings true for anyone who has gotten into a se

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 22, 2021
3 min

Expanding Your Kink

January 2021 brings both the desire to set goals for the new year and marks ten months in various stages of lockdown for most of us. Many of us are feeling restless, bored, disconnected, or otherwise unsatisfied. The combination of these things has made me (and probably you) want to expand your kink or explore new realms. Having limited access to our typical munches, conferences, and play spaces means many of us have had fewer outlets for our kinky desires. Additionally, bein

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Vaginal Dryness? It’s More Than “Just Add Lube”

Rebecca Blanton

Nov 30, 2020
4 min

Vaginal Dryness? It’s More Than “Just Add Lube”

I am a huge fan of lube as a normal part of sex. I have been using it since I discovered it in my teens. It is essential for fisting, anything involveing anal, and is really useful with toys. It should be normalized for everyone to have a bottle or two around the house for solo and not so solo sex. Until this year lube was not required for me when it came to vaginal penetration. I easilIy got wet when aroused. Very wet at times. It was simply part of the sexual experience for

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Having a Hard Time Feeling Sexy? You are Not Alone!

Rebecca Blanton

Nov 16, 2020
10 min

Having a Hard Time Feeling Sexy? You are Not Alone!

Its been a hard year. A. Very. Hard. Year. Between COVID lockdowns and restrictions, the election, the United States beginning to recon with is horrible treatment of Black Americans, many of us losing our jobs, and just general jack-assery by so many people, it has sucked for most of us. Me included. There are plenty of days I want to run around screaming just to try and release a sense of existential dread. If, in the middle of all of this, you are having a hard time feelin

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Rebecca Blanton

Jun 23, 2020
8 min

Fisting 101

So, you want to try fisting. Or you heard about it. Or you tried it and it didn’t quite work. Well, let me welcome you to the wonderful world of fisting! Full disclaimer: Fisting is my jam! I actually was fisted regularly at 13, before I had other things penetrate my vagina. I love it to this day. I am 33 years into this type of sex act and have picked up a lot of tips, tools, and fun facts I want to pass along. What is fisting, technically? Fisting is the act of inserting a

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Rebecca Blanton

Mar 18, 2020
3 min

Sex in the Apocalypse

Social distancing has definitely put a cramp in many sex lives. Online dating profiles are now including things like, “I have toilet paper reserves.” Orgies are being cancelled. And bars are limited capacity or closed. So, what are kinky folks to do? The coronovirus is so bad gays are starting to just sleep with their boyfriends again. Lana Del Gay (Twitter) There are actually lots of safe and fun ways to keep the kink up while still practicing social distancing. Its totally

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 21, 2020
6 min

National “Weird Sex” Day

Valentine’s Day in America is basically the National Day for Weird Sex. After the age of 18 most of us feel the social pressure to do something romantic and sexy on February 14. Culturally we are trained to see ourselves as “losers” or “undesirable” if we do not have a romantic date lined up. By “romantic” we also tend to mean sexual. Unless, of course, you are Liz Lemon and celebrate Anna Howard Shaw day instead of Valentine’s Day. Many of us feel pressure to come up with ne

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Rebecca Blanton

Jan 14, 2020
7 min

10 Things EVERY Kinky Person Should Try

We all have our limits, be they soft or hard. Not everyone likes spanking. Not everyone enjoys rope. We are all loosely bound by our “nontraditional” sex acts we enjoy and collectively call “kink.” Despite the fact there is no one kinky activity everyone will enjoy, there are some kinky experiences which all kinky folks should try at some point in their kinky journey. The list of activities includes ways to connect with the community, connect with yourself, and explore the br

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Rebecca Blanton

Sep 14, 2019
5 min

Pain. The Good, The Bad, the Fun!

There is the myth that the Inuit have some amazing number of words for snow. They don’t- but we have all heard the myth. The concept is that they live with so much snow they learn to distinguish types and have a variety of ways to describe it because it is such a huge part of their daily lives. While the Inuit may not have 100 words for snow, I have dozens of ways to describe pain. I didn’t always have such a pain vocabulary, but pain has become such a huge part of my life, I

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Rebecca Blanton

Aug 27, 2019
4 min

Sexier Sex? Plan for it!

I can remember the first time I read Macho Sluts by Pat Califia. While all the sex was really hot, a few of the stories stood out because the characters planned scenes. This was not the sex I saw anywhere else in the world. Like most folks, the sex I saw was the sex on movies and televisions. It was always unplanned. Great sex was supposed to be spontaneous. Characters never talked about desires or needs. There was never any planning. There was rarely any birth control! Some

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I’m Tired. Can We Just Shut Up and Fuck?

Rebecca Blanton

Jul 2, 2019
6 min

I’m Tired. Can We Just Shut Up and Fuck?

I’m feeling old and crotchety after a month of Pride. Maybe its because I have been doing Pride for more than three decades and it is not as bright and shiny as it used to be. Maybe its because now that I am older and sicker, 30 days is a long time to do all things rainbow. Maybe its that I have had an unrelenting headache for nine months now. Whatever it is, I just want us all to shut up and fuck now. I am thrilled there are several new generations of queer activists up in a

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Adult Playtime: Adding Games to Your Love Life

Rebecca Blanton

May 23, 2019
6 min

Adult Playtime: Adding Games to Your Love Life

One of the things I have always loved about BDSM and kink is the value it puts on play. Kinky folks call all the different activities we do a form of play: impact play, fire play, electric play, and so on. While our relationships are serious and often very structured, many kinky folks have a deep respect for play. Because I had the luck and joy of connecting with the kinky world shortly after I hit puberty it took me a long time to realize how many adults take sex deadly seri

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Epsidoe 14: Disability, Healing, and Star Trek

Rebecca Blanton

May 11, 2019
1 min

Epsidoe 14: Disability, Healing, and Star Trek

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-nmdui-b0ec4e Hosts: Auntie Vice and CharRon Smith Guests: Kirsten Shultz, Katori Knight, Amber Whitford Disability advocates Kristen Shultz and Katori Knight discuss their disability journeys, non-binary identities, and joy in pop culture and performance. Amber Whitfor and CharRon Smith bond over Next Generation and argue about the value of the first Black captain getting an outpost versus a ship to captain. Auntie Vice is just confused

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